With the death of Robin Williams, I wanted to write something about suicide. Strangely enough, Williams had acted in a film which had suicide and death as its theme called What Dreams May Come with Cuba Gooding Jr. In the film he’s a happily married man when tragedy hits his family with the death of his two children. His wife is especially vulnerable, but with his efforts she seems to be overcoming, when suddenly he himself dies in a car accident. Williams goes off to Heaven and its delights while his wife struggles back on earth only to succumb to negative thinking and eventual suicide. The story involves Williams desire to see his wife and rescue her from the depths of despair in Hell’s Gates. Yahoo today has noted that What Dreams May Come, though not one of William’s more famous films, has received a surprise number of downloads since his unexpected death.
Suicide is always a sad song to sing. To me, every suicide is a mark against humanity. Every suicide is a tragic loss to mankind. Recently a young thirty-two year old adult in our neighborhood committed suicide. He had been a carpenter, but wanted to start his own business, to be the boss and earn more money. But he perhaps was not ready for the difficult decisions the boss needs to make. Perhaps he wasn’t good with finances and under-estimated the cost of the jobs he did. Whatever the reason, he fell behind financially and eventually had to declare insolvency. Unable to find another job, he battled with depression and was prescribed medication. Finally one day in March he went down to the ocean which is very cold here nearly all year round and threw himself in. Like many Portuguese, he wasn’t a good swimmer. His cousins arrived on the scene almost in time to save him. They managed to get him back to land, but were unable to resuscitate him.
I had known his auntie who had died of cancer a few years ago. She was a friendly and generous person. After being diagnosed with brain cancer she died some six months later. But when her nephew died, I asked myself, “Why didn’t know about it?” I could have gone around to see him as his house was just around the corner only seven houses away. Though I had nothing to do with his death, I nevertheless felt the guilt of not having been more informed, of not having been able to do something to prevent it.
I had a restaurant friend who was found by his family on a recently built bridge over a good sized river that runs next to a small city fifteen kilometers from us. He, too, had been suffering depression after his son’s new business, a discotheque, which he helped to finance, went insolvent. On trying to reduce his medication, he became suicidal, but fortunately was saved by his attentive family. Eventually he and his wife lost their restaurant business which they had inherited from her parents. They have both battled heavily with depression. But after losing what they had been worrying about, they are finally better for it and have adjusted to their new more humble lifestyle.
Finances are often a reason that some choose to end their lives. In a small town north of us a client of mine’s brother ended his life because he was losing his business. She knew nothing about it and was later battling depression and guilt because of it. A beautiful mathematics teacher of thirty-two years in the same small town also chose not to continue living because of marriage problems. She had married her childhood sweetheart, but things turned sour and suicide ended up being her solution. She was also taking anti-depressants which some say have suicidal affects when the prescription is reduced too drastically. A friend of mine’s 25 year old son jumped out a seventeen floor window of their newly bought apartment. He was trying to quit his Ritalin addiction cold turkey and thought he was strong enough to do it. But perhaps he was unknowing of the side effects of the drug, sometimes called “Poor-man’s Coke,” which include suicidal tendencies especially when reducing former amounts. My own son died also from a swimming accident at the age of twenty-seven about three years ago. So I am familiar with the guilt and heartache that an untimely death can bring.
Just hearing the response to Robin Williams’ death makes one notice that mankind suffers when one of its own chooses to end his or her life. It's a universal feeling of lost and sadness, knowing that a person felt so alone he thought he had no one but death itself to turn to. I myself have often battled with discouragement over my seeming failures in life. Even though one has a relationship with Christ, we can still be tempted with the enemies negative thinking which can very quickly lead us down the wrong path mentally.
What can we do to help this growing infirmity in the world today, the suicide solution, the sad solution, the wrong solution? We can remember that everyone we meet might be a person battling big personal problems. We can try to bring light and happiness into other’s lives even if only with a look, a smile, a touch, or maybe a kind word, so they will know that someone has loved them that day. The Proverbs advise us that “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”[1] So we should use our tongues for good and not for evil. We should reframe from sarcastic comments which can hurt and discourage others. Proverbs, also, tells us, “Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.”[2] We can use praise and honest compliments to lift up those around us, as each one is carrying his own heavy burden. Another proverb states, “A man shall be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth.”[3]The happiness we seek does not come from more possessions, or entertainment or alcohol or drugs. It comes from honest loving fellowship with others where we are truly seeking to help and encourage one another. Maybe that is why Hebrews admonishes, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking (or neglecting) the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting (or encouraging) one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”[4]We all need good positive fellowship to grow and be healthy emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.
Proverbs, also, tells us “Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness.”[5] That verse seems to apply well to the life of Robin Williams who made us laugh. Maybe his ridiculous antics were his way of getting accepted and getting his need for love fulfilled. But now we see that the end of his laughs was heaviness as he took to drugs and alcohol for more inspiration, power and comical relief. But finally, it only brought him sadness, loneliness and hopelessness. Don’t let it happen to those in your world. Reach out and lift up that weary soul who walks beside or behind you or in front of you. Be a friend. Be active. Be compassionate. In doing so you might save some other lonely soul along the road of life and in the same time cheer up and do good to your own soul. As the Good Book says, “As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise: [6]for this is the law and the prophets.”[7]
One more thing, if you are able. Help them to find the lover of all lovers who alone can satisfy that deep longing in every human soul for love, understanding and happiness. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith who waits patiently and tenderly at the door of our hearts for us to answer his quiet knocking. He will never leave you nor forsake. He’ll fill that aching void within your heart that money, success, power and things just don’t satisfy. He’s just that beautiful and it’s just that wonderful. He says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”[8] Won’t you put your trust in him?
You could pray a little prayer like this: Jesus, I´ve messed up. I just haven’t got it together. I did it my way and it came out bad. The things I’ve worked and lived for have left me empty and unfulfilled. I tried to ignore the spiritual side of things, but now I see I should have given it more attention. Jesus, I really don’t want religion or to be religious. But I need help. I can’t make it any longer. Please Jesus, if you are there, reach down and touch me, like that song they sing. Lord, if you are there, reach down and touch my life and help me to find the reason for my existence. Life must be more than food and clothes and jobs and recreation. I’ve made mistakes and screwed up, sometimes big time. Please help me. If you are out there, please come into my life. Manifest yourself to me. I’m weak in faith, Lord. I don’t even know if you really exist. Jesus, if you really are the Son of God then I need you in my life, to help me to turn things around and find more meaning than I have right now. Please, take the burdens that I’m bearing and give me peace of heart, soul and mind. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!
If you’ve prayed that prayer or something similar from your own heart in sincerity, then Jesus has come into your life and will soon be manifesting His presence to you, if He hasn’t already. He loves you and promises to stick closer than a brother. He has a whole new wonderful world waiting for you to live and He’ll live it with you, encouraging you along the way! I love you, too. If I could help you in any way please let me know! Keep fighting. It’s worth it if you’ll just hang on a little longer, you won’t be disappointed. Here’s a beautiful song to listen to "He Touched Me:"
[1] Proverbs 18:21a
[2] Proverbs 12:25
[3] Proverbs 12:14a
[4] Hebrews 10:24,25
[5] Proverbs 14:13
[6] Luke 6:31
[7] Matthew 7:12b
[8] Psalm 34:8
1 Comments:
Spot on!
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