( Note: Familiarity could be defined as a state of being informal and casual, often to the point that it can indicate a lack of respect, or lead to you being unable to appreciate someone’s true value.)
Here are a few things you may want to try if you wish to avoid the negative aspects of becoming too familiar with your friends, family, or those you work with.
* Pray and ask for My help.
* Stay humble. Give Me the glory and credit when things go right or you do a good job, or when you get a compliment.
* Take what others say seriously. Of course, there’s a time and place for a little joking around, but try not to make light of everything.
* Be cautious when teasing others. Be careful that it doesn’t become a form of putting down or belittling someone else.
* When someone is explaining something to you, whether work related or personal, listen. Don’t interrupt until they’re finished, unless you think you’ve misunderstood something.
* When something comes up and you need to give a reminder, advice, counsel, or suggestion, pray about the best way to do it.
* Try giving regular encouragement in the form of compliments. It’s not enough tofeel admiration—you need to express it. This reinforces the respect between you and others, as well as helps things to flow more smoothly, because others know they’re appreciated.
* Look for qualities in the other person that you can admire and respect. Often you see these qualities clearly at first, but as time passes, you can easily lose sight of them. If at some point you find yourself getting critical and familiar, take a little time to remind yourself of the things you respect or are thankful for in that person.
*
Good communication is about love—loving enough to hear someone else out, to choose what is best for everyone involved, and to take the humble seat yourself. Love from the heart.
Love, humility, prayer—and good communication and honesty—can solve your problems. So if you want your communication to solve problems, then be loving, be humble, be prayerful, communicate well, and be honest.
*
Here are a few tips that may be helpful for you on how to be more humble in your communications:
* Be willing to back down. You can present your side, but also be willing to concede to the other person’s views. It’s important to not be dogmatic about your opinion; people may resent you for being pushy and overbearing.
* Be kind, loving, and well-mannered in your communications.You can be open and share your views without blowing the other person away, without being hurtful, and without lashing out at him or her.
* Be approachable. If you snap at people and regularly have wrong reactions when someone wants to communicate with you, this is like throwing a bucket of cold water on openness and good communications.
* When you have a discussion or communicate with someone, try not to have your own agenda that you bulldoze through.
* It’s best to hear out everyone involved. You may have your opinion, and you may think it’s what will work best, but others may not see eye to eye on it with you. So be open to everyone presenting their point of view.
* Try not to interrupt others when they’re presenting their point, especially if you have a differing opinion. Rudely interrupting others while they’re in the middle of expressing themselves often causes frustration, a feeling that you’re not listening, or that you’re trying to push your point.
* Listen attentively. Many people listen while formulating their response at the same time. When you do this, you risk missing key points the person is trying to bring up, or you’re likely to misinterpret them or jump to wrong conclusions.
* Ask questions as needed. If you don’t understand something, or the point being made is not clear, ask for further explanations.
* Present your thoughts in a non-emotional manner. Using a high-pitched or raised voice only makes the atmosphere tense and puts people on the defensive, and can cause a retaliatory reaction. Getting angry, losing your temper, and raising your voice will often alienate the other party.
* Be willing to say nothing. If you’re always pushing an agenda, people can resent you for it, especially if you’re often pushy and arrogant in your presentations.
* It’s all right to be vulnerable. Be humble enough to show that you don’t know everything, and you’re sincerely open to the opinions of the one you’re communicating with. This will not make them think less of you, but more.
* Bring out the positive, not just the negative. When you feel as though you’ve been wronged in a situation, it’s very difficult to bring out the positive. However, if you do this, it will put you in the position of being able to solve the problem with less personal conflict.
Originally published June 2001 and June 2005. Adapted and republished on Anchor January 2014. Read by Bryan Clark.
Here are a few things you may want to try if you wish to avoid the negative aspects of becoming too familiar with your friends, family, or those you work with.
* Pray and ask for My help.
* Stay humble. Give Me the glory and credit when things go right or you do a good job, or when you get a compliment.
* Take what others say seriously. Of course, there’s a time and place for a little joking around, but try not to make light of everything.
* Be cautious when teasing others. Be careful that it doesn’t become a form of putting down or belittling someone else.
* When someone is explaining something to you, whether work related or personal, listen. Don’t interrupt until they’re finished, unless you think you’ve misunderstood something.
* When something comes up and you need to give a reminder, advice, counsel, or suggestion, pray about the best way to do it.
* Try giving regular encouragement in the form of compliments. It’s not enough tofeel admiration—you need to express it. This reinforces the respect between you and others, as well as helps things to flow more smoothly, because others know they’re appreciated.
* Look for qualities in the other person that you can admire and respect. Often you see these qualities clearly at first, but as time passes, you can easily lose sight of them. If at some point you find yourself getting critical and familiar, take a little time to remind yourself of the things you respect or are thankful for in that person.
*
Good communication is about love—loving enough to hear someone else out, to choose what is best for everyone involved, and to take the humble seat yourself. Love from the heart.
Love, humility, prayer—and good communication and honesty—can solve your problems. So if you want your communication to solve problems, then be loving, be humble, be prayerful, communicate well, and be honest.
*
Here are a few tips that may be helpful for you on how to be more humble in your communications:
* Be willing to back down. You can present your side, but also be willing to concede to the other person’s views. It’s important to not be dogmatic about your opinion; people may resent you for being pushy and overbearing.
* Be kind, loving, and well-mannered in your communications.You can be open and share your views without blowing the other person away, without being hurtful, and without lashing out at him or her.
* Be approachable. If you snap at people and regularly have wrong reactions when someone wants to communicate with you, this is like throwing a bucket of cold water on openness and good communications.
* When you have a discussion or communicate with someone, try not to have your own agenda that you bulldoze through.
* It’s best to hear out everyone involved. You may have your opinion, and you may think it’s what will work best, but others may not see eye to eye on it with you. So be open to everyone presenting their point of view.
* Try not to interrupt others when they’re presenting their point, especially if you have a differing opinion. Rudely interrupting others while they’re in the middle of expressing themselves often causes frustration, a feeling that you’re not listening, or that you’re trying to push your point.
* Listen attentively. Many people listen while formulating their response at the same time. When you do this, you risk missing key points the person is trying to bring up, or you’re likely to misinterpret them or jump to wrong conclusions.
* Ask questions as needed. If you don’t understand something, or the point being made is not clear, ask for further explanations.
* Present your thoughts in a non-emotional manner. Using a high-pitched or raised voice only makes the atmosphere tense and puts people on the defensive, and can cause a retaliatory reaction. Getting angry, losing your temper, and raising your voice will often alienate the other party.
* Be willing to say nothing. If you’re always pushing an agenda, people can resent you for it, especially if you’re often pushy and arrogant in your presentations.
* It’s all right to be vulnerable. Be humble enough to show that you don’t know everything, and you’re sincerely open to the opinions of the one you’re communicating with. This will not make them think less of you, but more.
* Bring out the positive, not just the negative. When you feel as though you’ve been wronged in a situation, it’s very difficult to bring out the positive. However, if you do this, it will put you in the position of being able to solve the problem with less personal conflict.
Originally published June 2001 and June 2005. Adapted and republished on Anchor January 2014. Read by Bryan Clark.
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