How to Get Rid of That Ought in Your Heart

Dennis Edwards

I love the Bible. It is a great book and stands to be read frequently if not continuously. After I received Jesus it was the only book I would read for many years and I found it enthralling. It is normal when you first receive the Lord to have the hungering for His word as it gives you strength, counsel, comfort, knowledge, understanding and compassion. Reading the word and meditating on its truth gives you wisdom beyond your years and experiences. It becomes a filter on how you observe and absorb the world around you. David said, "I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the ancients,because I keep thy word." (Psalm 119:99,100) So a good reading and meditating on the word of God would do us all good.

So what to we do about that ought in our heart about that other person? How do we get rid of it?Did Jesus leave us any advice? Well, I am sad to say He did. I am sad, because it is not easy advice to follow. Most people will not follow it. They may think you are wrong for following it also. They may do all they can to persuade you it is not the right way to go. I believe if we follow this advice whole-heartedly, it will work. If we only put half a heart into it, we cannot expect much results. We will get what we put in.

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you." (Matthew 5:44)

So here Jesus starts by saying we should love our enemies. Though we may have a feeling for hatred for those enemies far beyond the sea, most of our real enemies in life, turn out to be more close to home. They may be a former loved one, former workmate, neighbour, spouse, in-law, son or daughter, boss or partner, employee or friend. It is usually some one close to us, or who was once close to us that we have trouble loving. Most probably they have done wrong to us and probably we feel they have never done restitution for what they have done. Therefore we find it hard to forgive them and make things right. We will not forgive until they ask for our forgiveness. By taking that stand, we are making our obedience to the Word of God dependent on what they do. We will forgive, when... 

But that is not what Jesus said. He said, Love your enemies. What does that mean? Is it something like doing unto them what you would want someone to do unto you if you were in the same situation? In I Corinthians 13 Paul talks about love. What does it say there? "Love suffers long and is kind. Love envies not, is not puffed up. Love does not behave itself improperly. Love seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil. Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth." What about those verses we read the other day in Ephesians 4:31&32 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderheated, forgiving one another, even as God for the sake of Christ has forgiven you."

So there we have it. The Word of God is powerful and hits right on target, if we let it. So how then do we get the victory over that person whom we are having a hard time to get along with, that person who seems to be making our life miserable? Well, Jesus said you need to love them. That is fair enough. But then He gives three specific things you should do to manifest love for that person. Are you ready for them? Then here we go. 

"Bless them that curse you." First step is to start talking positive about the person who is getting you annoyed. Words are real things. They bless or they curse. If you are talking negatively about someone behind their back, it could very well be a form of cursing. Do not do it. Bless, or speak positively and do not curse. You will one day give account for every idle word. Proverbs 18:21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." We will eat the fruit of our words. If we are sowing love and friendship with our words we will reap the same. If we are sowing discord or bitterness, we will reap the same. "What a man sows, that shall he also reap." (Galatians 6:7) So be positive and talk positive about the person whom you are having a hard time to love.

Next step: "Do good to them that hate you." (Matthew 5:44) That is straight forward enough. Start doing good things to the person you seem to be having difficulty with. What ever little act of kindness you can think of. There are plenty of little or big ways you can implement this. Use your imagination, Remember, you will only get out what you put in. What ever you do, do it whole-heartedly. It will eventually bear fruit. Maybe not after the first little good thing you do, but down the line it will eventually bear fruit. 

You see your enemy is waiting to see if this change in you is for real, or some kind of a trick. So be patient and consistent. Remember Jacob (Israel) in the Bible when he returned to see his brother Esau of whom he had robbed his birthright and the blessing of their father. Genesis 32&32 What did he send on ahead of himself? Gifts for his brother, the brother that had vowed to kill him once their father was dead. By doing good he won back the friendship and forgiveness of his brother. "A gift...pacifies anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath." (Proverbs 21:14)

The last step and I do not mean that these are in any type of chronological order. I have often found that to go ahead with the first two steps mentioned I needed to first apply this third step. But since Jesus mentioned this third, I have kept it in His order. "Pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you." That is how you often feel when you are living with or working close by someone who you are not in harmony with. You may feel they are doing things on spite and they may be. You may feel persecuted and maybe rightfully so. 

Nevertheless, Jesus says to pray for them. But I have also found, that I need to pray not only for them, but also for my self and against any wrong attitudes I may be hiding from myself. So prayer is important and often the key or catalyst for spiritual progress. Start praying for that person who is making you miserable. Start praying for your own heart to be right with God and your attitudes to be right before Him. You will find if you do pray, it will work wonders. Pray moves the hand of God. "The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. (James 5:16)

So there you have it. Love you enemy by following these three positive steps: positive speaking, positive actions and positive prayer. You do not need to do these in any set order, but do them you must if you want a wonderful victory over that "neighbour" who is just dragging your life down. Try the plan Jesus gave and see what wonders it can work for you in your life today. Get those prayer muscles in action. Speak and act positively and you will soon regain a lost friend or loved one. As you change it may very well be that they will change also. Start today. Tomorrow may be too late. God bless you as you pray, speak and act positively! You will not regret it. God will bless you as you follow His word.

I must note here that I read the following book some time ago which contains some of the ideas and arguments I have presented above.

PUTTING OFF ANGER John Coblentz Anger kills people, turns children into rebels, destroys families, and divides churches. This book looks at what God says anger is, how it becomes bitterness, and how it deceives those in its grip. Victory is reached when responses are motivated by faith, forgiveness, and love. This practical book shares insights valuable for counselors or anyone struggling with anger.

I recommend it for anyone dealing with the problem of anger and forgiveness. You can find at Christian Light Publications.