The Three Most Important Words- Do You Use Them?

By Dennis Edwards:

Recently, I sadly lost my temper with my family and ended up breaking a large color television that had been donated to us by a visiting missionary. I was angry at the quality of television my young teens were watching and my seemingly inability to influence them for the better.

The Word of God warns consistently about the dangers of getting angry. In Ecclesiastes we read, 

"Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger rests in the bosom of fools."[1] 

James in the New Testament says,  

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (anger): for the wrath (anger) of man works not the righteousness of God."[2] 

Nevertheless, in a fit of temper, I threw the television to the floor as my teens watched on in horror. I was indeed foolish. I was being what is typical of many "religious" people, I was being a bad sample or an example of what not to do.

It happens to all of us at different moments and in different ways. A friend of mine called it "being human." But the Word of God tells us that we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds to be partakers of His divine nature. The author of Hebrews says,

"And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."[3] 

In Peter we read, 

"Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacks these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and has forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if you do these things, you shall never fall."[4]

Although I could take solace in the fact that I am human, I nevertheless should be doing better. Usually when things like this happen I know I have gotten away from the Lord because he has promised, 

"I will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon me, because he trusts in me."[5] 

It is a good time to pray and look to the Lord to see where I had messed up and gone astray.

The enemy of our soul is always looking for a way to enter our defenses and get us to do, say or act contrary to the Word of God and good behavior. Peter reminds us to, 

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour; whom resist steadfast in the faith."[6] 

I had failed and done what I should not have done . We so often fail with those closest to us. When my temper calmed down, I knew that God would forgive me, but what about my wife and children? I have found that the three almost most important words for making things right are "I am sorry." Most people accept an honest confession of guilt and a promise of repentance, especially our children who want to love us anyway. So when you screw up, like I did recently and have done in the past, tell them you are sorry and then make a concerted effort to change your bad behavior.

Putting helpful scriptures to memory might be a help. You might fail again, but keep on trying and with the help of God and your own humility, you can change and become that loving father, spouse or friend that you so desperately want to be and your family needs you to be. Your children will love you all the more for your confession of guilt and sin and you are teaching them the right way to make things right when they do wrong.

You could even ask your family or friends to pray with you for strength to change. There is great power in united prayer together. 

"One can chase a thousand, but two can put ten thousand to flight."[7] 

After confessing your fault do not be ashamed of asking for the prayer which we all need at times.

 

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you might be healed. The unceasing fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."[8] 

God is in the business of answering prayer. Be sorry, ask for forgiveness, make definite plans to rectify the bad behavior and pray.

The Lord also showed me that the extra glass of wine I had taken at the persistence of a new friend, was the hole in the dike which later removed my natural control value that would have prevented my anger from swelling. Alcohol removes the inhibitions which God has placed to keep our wrong desires and emotions under check. If I want to control my anger and avoid temptations like that occurring in the future, I need to carefully watch my drinking habits. He admonished me to avoid drinking generally, especially during my children´s teenage years when their emotional changes can affect mine also. If I really needed a drink, He told me I should leave it for the end of the day when the teens are in bed. Following His counsel will help to avoid those possibly stressful times of interaction with my teenagers and help me to maintain patience and calm should a stress moment arise.

Here is a good verse:

"There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it."[9] 

May God bless you and keep you overcoming your problems with His help.

Footnotes:

[1] Ecclesiastes 7:9
[2] James 1:19-20
[3] Hebrews 12:2
[4] 2Peter 1:4-10
[5] Isaiah 26:3
[6] 1Peter 5:7-8
[7] Deuteronomy 32:30
[8] James 5:16
[9] 1Corinthians 10:13