How to Change Negative Attitudes to Positive Ones

Whitney Hopler, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
Saturday, August 20, 2011

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Jan Coate's book, Attitude-inize:10 Secrets to a Positive You, (Beacon Hill Press, 2011).

A positive attitude contributes to success in life more than anything else, according to a Stanford Research Institute study that shows a full 87.5 percent of people’s success can be traced to their positive attitudes, while just 12.5 percent of their success comes from their aptitude, knowledge, or skills.

What can you do if your mind is weighed down by negative attitudes that limit your success? You can change your attitudes, with God’s help. Here’s how:

Understand the power of attitude. If you allow negative attitudes (such as anxiety, envy, anger, bitterness, or pride) to grab hold of your mind, those attitudes will lead you to make negative decisions that will affect your life in negative ways. But if you choose to develop and maintain positive attitudes, your life will become positive as a result. Even when you encounter the challenges and tragedies of living in a fallen world, you’ll be able to deal with them successfully when you choose to approach life with positive attitudes. But keep in mind that changing negative attitudes to positive ones isn’t an instant event; it’s a lifelong process that requires perseverance. Ask God to help you each day, and study Jesus’ life, since He is the ultimate example of how to live in a fallen world with positive attitudes.

Respond rather than react to unexpected change. Change will sometimes surprise you, and when that change is negative you may be drawn into a crisis. Whenever that happens, avoid reacting negatively and instead deliberately decide to respond positively. Keep in mind that you can’t control situations or people, but you can choose how you’ll respond to them. Ask God to give you four key gifts to help you respond to unexpected change in positive ways: hope, faith in Him, a clear vision of what He wants you to do next, and the energy to do what He wants you to do. Whenever it’s possible for you to change troubling circumstances or relationships, make the effort to do so. Whenever you can’t change them, ask God to give you the peace you need to deal with them.

Be accountable for your life. Let go of a victim’s attitude, since blaming others for what’s happened to you (from divorce to a job loss) won’t help make your life better. Avoid self-pity and excuses for not changing your life, too. Realize that no matter what has happened to you in the past, you do have the power to change, with God’s help. Focus on God’s promises to give you the strength you need to grow and move into a better future, and rely on that strength every day. Instead of looking inward, look outward to other people in need and obey God’s call to help them; in the process, you’ll start to feel better about your own life. Take responsibility for moving forward in the ways God leads you to move forward, and you’ll see your life becoming more positive.

Examine your soul. Ask God to help you take an honest look inside your soul to identify what specific types of negative attitudes are lurking inside, such as: pride, fear, anger, sadness, jealousy, doubt, resentment, bitterness, and low self-esteem. Then confess each of the negative attitudes to God and repent of them, inviting God to transform you from the inside out. Going forward, each time you become aware of an unhealthy, negative thought in your mind, give it to God in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind so you can think the way He wants you to think – which will help you develop positive attitudes to fill your soul regularly.

Forgive yourself and others. Accept the forgiveness that God offers you for your sins, and be faithful to God’s call to forgive others who have sinned against you. Doing so will release the poison of bitterness from your soul, which will flush out negative attitudes and make room for positive attitudes to take their place. In the process, your stress levels will decrease and the amount of peace you experience will increase.

Prepare for obstacles. It’s inevitable in this fallen world that you’ll face difficult circumstances in the future that can lead you to give into negativity if you don’t prepare for them now. So invest time in practices that will help you develop new habits of positive thinking that will solidify positive attitudes in your life. When fear and discouragement cloud your thinking, seek wisdom from prayer, reading the Bible, and talking with godly people you trust. Pray regularly for God to fulfill His unique purposes in your life, and expect big results, with faith in God’s sovereign power. When you need encouragement, read God’s promises to you in the Bible and spend time with encouraging people while avoiding negative ones. Be patient when working to reach the goals God has inspired you to achieve, relying on His strength each step of the way. Keep in mind that every obstacle you may face pales in comparison to the power of God’s love for you.

Learn to receive and give love. The more you can receive God’s love and give it to other people, the more positive your perspective on life will become. So make your relationship with God your top priority, and devote lots of time and energy to prayer and other spiritual disciplines that will help you grow closer to Him. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you, and base your identity on the fact that you’re God’s beloved child. Pray for the Holy Spirit to manifest more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in your life, so you’ll be empowered to love other people in the ways God wants you to love them.

Take charge of your thoughts. Ask God to help you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, and practice thinking about what’s true, lovely and honorable until doing so becomes a habit. Read the Bible regularly to remind yourself of how blessed you are as someone who is accepted, secure, and significant thanks to your relationship with Jesus.

Transform from the inside out. Release control of every part of your life – from your relationships to your work – to God, trusting Him to guide you to what’s best in all of your decisions. As you abandon a self-centered life for a God-centered life, you’ll find that you’ll be following God’s guidance because you want to, not because you have to do so. Your sense of hope will grow in the process, which will nurture positive attitudes in your life.

Make a positive difference in God’s kingdom. Pray that God will make you a vessel for His love to flow through into the lives of other people. Every day, make the most of the opportunities God gives you to inspire other people to develop positive attitudes, by loving and serving them through both what you say and what you do.

Adapted from Attitude-inize:10 Secrets to a Positive You, copyright 2011 by Jan Coates. Published by Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City, a division of Nazarene Publishing House, Kansas City, Mo.

Jan Coates is a popular speaker and the founder of Set Free Today Ministry. She received her Bachelor’s Degree from Park University in Kansas City, MO. Since writing Set Free, she has started her own ministry, Jan Coates Consulting, where she is also President. She has written for several magazines, including Boston Globe, INC. Magazine, Significant Living, Christian Women Today, and CBN.com. She has also been a contributing author forMiracles and Hope, The Spirit-Filled Believer, Then Comes the Morning, When God Steps In, and Extraordinary Miracles in the Lives of Ordinary People.

Whitney Hopler is a freelance writer and editor who serves as both a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and the editor of About.com’s site on angels and miracles (http://angels.about.com/). Contact Whitney at:angels.guide@about.comto send in a true story of an angelic encounter or a miraculous experience like an answered prayer.

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Sem Amor não É Nada

Ai   nda que eu fale as línguas dos homens e dos anjos, se não tiver amor, serei como o sino que ressoa ou como o prato que retine. Ainda que eu tenha o dom de profecia e saiba todos os mistérios e todo o conhecimento, e tenha uma fé capaz de mover montanhas, mas não tiver amor, nada serei. Ainda que eu dê aos pobres tudo o que possuo e entregue o meu corpo para ser queimado, mas não tiver amor, nada disso me valerá.—1 Coríntios 13:1–3[1]

*

Se você não tiver amor o seus talentos não vão lhe servir para nada.[2] Você em primeiro lugar tem que ser amoroso, tem que ser compassivo e compreensivo dos problemas das pessoas.

Cristianismo não foi construído com base em regras duras. Está edificado em primeiro lugar com base no amor, na consideração, compreensão e compaixão. Jesus um dia estava esgotado e tentou entrar para repousar dentro de uma casa, mas olhou lá para fora e havia milhares de pessoas reunidas ali querendo cura. E diz que Ele saiu e os curou a todos visto que teve compaixão da multidão.[3]

Se você não tiver compaixão, e você não tiver amor, e você não estiver fazendo isto porque “o amor de Cristo me constrange" e porque tem pena destas pobres pessoas e quer ajudá-las e está tentando fazer o melhor que pode, nunca vão levar você a lado nenhum.[4] Você tem que empatia e compreensão. Pode ser gentil, sossegado, maravilhoso, fiel, leal, diligente e muito trabalhador, mas isso não é suficiente se não parece conhecer bem as pessoas e os problemas com que enfrentam.

Precisamos ter amor pelos outros e termos tanta compaixão por eles que poderíamos quase chorar só de pensar neles e tentarmos fazer tudo o que podemos para os ajudar e facilitar as coisas para eles.

“Pois não temos um sumo sacerdote que não possa compadecer-se das nossas fraquezas, mas sim alguém que, como nós, passou por todo tipo de tentação, porém, sem pecado.”[5] Ele sofreu as mesmas coisas e passou pelas mesmas coisas que nós em nossa condição humana.

Eu acho que nem se pode ser um bom vendedor a menos que tenha amor. O que faz com que alguém seja um bom vendedor? Alguém que é sincero, que está convencido do seu produto. Está convencido que aquilo vai realmente ajudar as pessoas para quem ele está tentando vender e consegue comunicar essa sinceridade e convicção, que: "Você tem que comprar isto e estou vendendo para você pelo mínimo que me é possível para facilitar as coisas para você fazer o seu trabalho" ou seja o que for.

Vi alguns comerciais da TV que são um fiasco total. Eles realmente tentam dar a entender que se importam com você e com a sua saúde, a sua beleza, o seu conforto. Mas a verdadeira arte de vender especialmente no nosso negócio de pregar o evangelho, requer ter amor, senão nunca terá sucesso, nunca convencerá.

Primeiro de tudo precisamos ter amor. Se não tivermos amor, não vai nos servir para nada e não faremos nada que permanecerá.

Pessoas em posição de liderança em qualquer trabalho que seja para o Senhor, deveriam estar tentando ajudar os salvadores de almas. E serem verdadeira, sincera e honestamente preocupadas com eles, não só fazerem um trabalho do tipo formal, mecânico e automático sem o poder do espírito.[6] E o que é poder? Amor! Sem este poder, não temos nada.

Amor é o sangue que dá vida ao trabalho de Deus—o Espírito de Deus. Como minha mãe costumava dizer, se o batismo do Espírito pode ser definido, é um batismo de amor.

*

Deus usa apenas pessoas quebradas, vidas quebradas, corações quebrados, porque só um coração quebrado lhe dá amor e compaixão pelos outros! Apenas uma vida quebrada vai ajudá-lo a simpatizar com os outros. Só o quebrantamentopode dar humildade.

Se você mostrar um verdadeiro amor pelas pessoas não terá nenhuma dificuldade em ganhar amigos, ganharos perdidos que precisam de amor. Quando demonstramos amor às classes de pessoas mais desprezadas, rejeitadas e descriminadas do mundo hoje, elas retribuem com amor. Amor gera amor! “E o maior destes é o amor.”[7] Acima de todos os dons descritos em 1 Coríntios 13, o amor estava acima de todos, maior do que qualquer dom, porque Deus é amor.

Se há uma coisa que o batismo do Espírito Santo é, ele é um batismo de amor. Não importa “se você fala com línguas de homens ou de anjos, sem amor, você se torna como um metal que soa e um sino que tine”. “Embora você compreenda todos os mistérios e todas as profecias e tenha fé que remove montanhas...”, ainda que você tenha uma fé assim, se não tiver amor, você não é nada.[8]

“Mas sobretudo tendo ardente amor uns para com os outros.”[9] “Amai-vos uns aos outros.”[10] Na última mensagem de Jesus aos Seus discípulos na Última Ceia antes de ser preso, levado para a cadeia, surrado e morto, o que foi que Ele lhes disse? Ele falou em amor, que o amor era a coisa mais importante.[11]

Com tudo o que possuis adquire amor.”[12] Sabedoria é amor, sabiam isso? Porque Deus é sabedoria, mas Ele também é amor. “Amai-vos uns aos outros!” “Tende ardente amor uns para com os outros.” Qual é o maior mandamento? – Amar a Deus! Qual é o segundo maior? Amar o teu próximo como a ti mesmo! Ele disse que era semelhante ao primeiro.[13] Amar o teu próximo é amar a Deus. Sem amor não é nada.

*

O amor é paciente,
o amor é bondoso.
Não inveja,
não se vangloria,
não se orgulha.

Não maltrata,
não procura seus interesses,
não se ira facilmente,
não guarda rancor.

O amor não se alegra com a injustiça,
mas se alegra com a verdade.

Tudo sofre,
tudo crê,
tudo espera,
tudo suporta.
O amor nunca falha.
—1 Coríntios 13:4–8[14]

Publicado originalmente em 1984 e 1969. Por D. B. Berg. Adaptado e republicado em março de 2014. Tradução Denise Oliveira. Revisão H.R.Flandoli.


[1] ISV.

[2] 1 Coríntios 13.

[3] Mateus 14:14.

[4] 2 Coríntios 5:14.

[5] Hebreus 4:15.

[6] 2 Timóteo 3:5.

[7] 1 Coríntios 13:13.

[8] 1 Coríntios 13:1–2.

[9] 1 Pedro 4:8.

[10] João 15:12.

[11] Ver João 13:1, 34–35.

[12] Provérbios 4:7.

[13] Mateus 22:37–39.

[14] NVI.

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Opposition or Opportunity?

http://anchor.tfionline.com/post/opposition-or-opportunity/

A compilation

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.—John 16:33

*

As we faithfully carry out our mission of reaching the world with the message, we can expect to encounter some form of opposition along the way from time to time. Opposition and adversity are a fact of life in our active service for the Lord.

As Christians, we’re called to learn to take adversity in stride and be prepared to face the challenges it poses with an attitude of faith. This will empower us to be spiritually, mentally, and emotionally prepared to not only weather the storms, but to expect the Lord to turn even seemingly negative circumstances to our good and into opportunities to further His work. We can brave the winds of adversity with the unwavering confidence that Jesus has a purpose and plan in every difficulty that enters our lives.

Asking the Lord for His perspective on the challenges that we face, and for His guidance as to how to respond proportionately and to take action proactively enables us to take adversity and opposition in stride and channel our energy and efforts toward the solutions and the victories.

When we face adversity, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ve done something wrong or made a mistake. If we neglect to operate in prayer and counsel with others the Lord places in our lives as godly counselors, and if we fail to stay in tune with the Lord, then it could result in unwise and unprayerful decisions; we might make some mistakes and there would be lessons to be learned. But that is not always the cause of adversity. If we are prayerfully committing our lives and work to the Lord and we face opposition or confrontation from some quarter, then we are to “count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”1

Regardless of the circumstances, by faith our expectations should be that we will go through the difficulty and come out the better for the experience in one way or another—either strengthened, or wiser, or able to give a good witness, or to continue advancing despite the crisis. We can embrace the challenges that come our way and welcome the opportunities to ride the wave of adversity and come through strengthened and rise above the difficulties.—Maria Fontaine

*

Every great man or woman of faith, and even idealists who were not necessarily religious, faced opposition and adversity in many forms and to varying degrees throughout their lifetimes. The testament of their lives is often one of struggling through adversity, refusing to be swayed by opposition, and forging ahead to fulfill their calling and mission. They had a purpose, and they knew that the fulfillment of their purpose would not be handed to them on a silver platter. Opposition presented itself in many forms: political opposition, opposition from those protecting their financial interests, opposition from the religious powers of their day, opposition from friends and family, opposition from a hostile media, opposition from educational institutions.

Anyone who aspired to achieve anything great in this world to bring about monumental change and improvement faced enormous challenges and great opposition. Those who fought for the rights of children to receive schooling and not be in the workforce from the time they were very small faced opposition. Those who fought for racial equality faced continual opposition. Those who fought for the death of the slave trade fought the financial magnates of their day. Those who fought to make it possible for the common people to read the Bible faced opposition and persecution from the religious powers of their day. And on it goes.

Those who preach a message of salvation, faith, and truth will often stand in opposition to the world and its status quo.—Jesus, speaking in prophecy

*

Philippians 2:13 says, “For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” And 1 Thessalonians 5:24 says, “The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” There is wonderful liberation in these promises, because focusing on what God is doing through us takes the pressure off us and puts it on Him. Our job is to step out in faith, dependent upon God, and trusting Him to accomplish His purpose in whatever He called us to do.

That doesn’t mean everything will run smoothly. Wherever the work of God is being carried out we can expect opposition, not only on the mission fields, but in our homes and communities. There will always be pitfalls and hurdles, but when Christ is our strength, the difficulties will deepen our commitment, and we not only learn from them, but in them, experience the unlimited resources of Christ. We are never called to a task without the equipping and empowerment of Christ, and that’s where our confidence lies; not in what we are doing, but in what Christ is doing through us.—Charles Price

*

Adversity is a severe instructor, set over us by one who knows us better than we do ourselves, as He loves us better, too. He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. This conflict with difficulty makes us acquainted with our object and compels us to consider it in all its relations. It will not suffer us to be superficial.—Edmund Burke

*

Difficulties are the admission tickets to the game of life. But, at times, we cannot help suspecting that life would be much more pleasant without the hassles. Is that what you think? Before answering, ponder the following.

In a world without hurdles, there are no champions; without suffering, there are no saints; without battles, there are no victories; without rain, no rainbows. Doesn’t it appear that a world that includes pain is more rewarding than one that doesn’t? Isn’t heat necessary to produce gold, pressure and polishing necessary to produce diamonds, and adversity necessary to produce character?

Here’s how Henry Ford expressed the same sentiment: “Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. We must learn that the setbacks … which we endure help us to march onward.”—Chuck Gallozzi

Published on Anchor April 2014. Read by Bethany Kelly.


1 James 1:2–4 ESV.

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