Equal, but Different!

By Dennis Edwards

I was recently asked to speak to my son’s high school class. His sociology teacher invited me as the class was covering the topic “Equal, but Different.” She knew my son had been home-schooled when he was young, and that his parents were missionaries operating a local NGO. But the reason she had invited me was because my son’s behavior had had a positive influence on his class and the whole school.

She told me confidentially, “William is different from the other students. He always comes to school with extra-curriculum reading book. He interacts well with all the students and treats the professors as if they were his aunts or uncles. If we had a student like William in every single classroom, the school would be different.”

Besides always emphasizing the importance of love and tolerance for others, we had tried to instill in William, and all our other children, the importance of taking initiative, being responsible, and going beyond the minimum in a job or task. William had applied these principles during his High School years. As a result I was asked to give a power-point presentation of my life and work to the students.

The school sponsored exchange visits of students from other countries. William was fluent in the native tongue and in English the international language. As a result he became the interpreter for the foreign exchange students. Later he was asked to translate for the Mayor who came to give the students a welcoming speech. When William graduated he was presented with the Best Student award and the award for the student who had developed the most over the three year course.

In the power-point that I presented at William's school, I was able to share my life story to the students. I explained how I had found Jesus after losing my faith during my early university years. When I concluded the presentation, the students gave a hearty spontaneous applause. One of the students even asked how she could become a missionary. Modelling his life after Christ’s, William had opened the door for me to in turn encourage his classmates and explain to them that the answer to life's problems is in Jesus.

William and myself during a charity campaign.

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Positive Statements for Fighting Negativity

By Maria Fontaine
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Audio length: 7:06
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I’d like to share some faith-building statements, inspired by the Lord, that I pray will help bolster your faith when you’re battling negativity. There’s quite a bit of variety in these, but if there aren’t any that fit your situation to a T, hopefully they can serve as examples and help you to come up with faith boosters that will express the feelings on your heart and the battles that you face.



* Whether I feel capable and talented or not, I am determined to do my best. The Lord is the one who has made me, so the Lord is the one who will do it through me. I believe that faith is doing, not feeling, so I am going to do my best, by faith, regardless of how I feel.

* I made a mistake today, but I’m determined to grow and learn from it. I am not going to allow discouragement and condemnation to drag me down because of this mistake. I choose instead to praise You, Jesus, for this mistake, because through it I can learn greater lessons of humility. And now I’m going to get up and try again.

* I am making progress, because today I’m determining to fight, and today I refuse to quit.

* So what if I’m not perfect? I’m fighting for change and growth. As long as I am following Jesus and what He shows me through His Word, I can trust that I am moving forward and becoming the person the Lord wants me to be.

* I am going to praise Jesus today regardless of how I feel. I don’t care that I’m tired, worried, anxious, or discouraged over these many little things. Today, I want to feel happy, content, praiseful, cheerful, and positive. So I am going to fill my mind with good things, positive thoughts, and words of praise. I thank You, Jesus, for this day dedicated to praise!

* I may feel like a mess—I may even be a mess—but Jesus promised that there is always strength available to me. I claim that strength for today.

* I refuse to dwell negatively on myself. I’m going to look outward, toward others, toward other needs or needy situations, toward the lost souls who are desperately in need of Jesus. Today I am going to do something positive for someone I come in contact with. I’m going to do something today to make their day better and to make them happier.

* Jesus chose me. Jesus bought me. Jesus paid the highest price for me. I am worth it. I have been bought with the price of Jesus’ blood; that’s how precious He deems me. I am valuable to Jesus, and I am going to live this day to make Him proud of His investment.

* I will not compare my life negatively with others. Jesus would not withhold any good thing from me,1 so if there is something that I would like but it is not possible for me to have it, I can safely assume that it would not be good for me to have it.

* Even if I’m not the best at what I do, I can do my personal best in whatever I do. And I will do my personal best no matter how I feel about myself or my talents. Even if I don’t have any talents in certain areas, if the Lord is asking something of me, He’ll help me to accomplish it.

* No matter how I feel, I am beautiful. I am God’s creation, and He never says “Oops.” I’m beautiful, because He made me. I am going to be content in whatever state I’m in. I will be thankful for how He’s made me. I will be happy for the way He’s formed me. I want Him to know that no matter what, I love Him and will be continually praiseful.

* I am making progress in my spiritual life, and each day Jesus is taking me further. The Lord isn’t comparing me to others, so neither should I. I will be content with the way the Lord has made me, what experiences He’s trusted me to go through, and the spiritual depth and maturity He has given me. I will continue to love and serve Him to the best of my ability no matter how I feel about the progress of my spiritual life.

* The Lord has made me unique; He’s given me unique abilities, a unique mind, a unique personality, a unique flavor to add to this world. I will show Jesus that I am happy with how He’s created me, and I’m happy to be His creation by living the life He’s given me to live, wholeheartedly, contentedly, cheerfully, happily.

*

A heart at peace gives life to the body.—Proverbs 14:302

*

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.—1 Timothy 6:6–73

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Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.—Psalm 103:1–24

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You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.—Isaiah 26:35

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Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.—Psalm 37:4–56

Originally published April 2006. Adapted and republished March 2014.
Read by Irene Quiti Vera.


1 Psalm 34:10.

2 NIV.

3 KJV.

4 KJV.

5 ESV.

6 ESV.

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Escolha Ser Positivo

Link
Uma compilação

Quando você muda a sua perspectiva, as coisas mudam.—Max Planck

*

Muitos anos atrás, cuidei de um senhor com Alzheimer.

Por mais de seis meses eu o alimentava, dava banho, vestia, fazia companhia, limpava o seu bumbum e o levava para caminhar. Eu também suportava os seus ímpetos, como, por exemplo, quando ele tentou me bater o caminho todo de volta à casa e depois me impediu de entrar e ficou rindo feito um louco (Claro! Rsrsrs.)

Eu comecei a cuidar dele porque gostei de sua esposa logo na primeira entrevista. Eu gostei muito dela como pessoa. Suas olheiras mostravam o cansaço extremo por ter que cuidar dele 24 horas por dia, 7 dias por semana. Mas puxa, quanto amor por aquele homem. Ela olhava para ele com tanta ternura! Ele nem a reconhecia, no entanto ela permanecia inabalável. Eu queria ajudá-la, por isso entrei no time.

Aprendi muito nesse período. Eu estava tão sensível que nem suportava contato físico. Mas às vezes, aquele senhor idoso só se acalmava quando alguém segurava suas mãos. Eu tinha que segurar sua mão e me retirar e encontrar um ponto de quietude no meu íntimo para energizá-lo. Só então ele sossegava.

Eu o observava passar horas olhando para fora da janela. Ele via coisas que eu não via, e eu ficava curiosa. Será que seus óculos eram mágicos e lhe permitiam ver outros mundos?

Seria possível dizer que ele sofria, mas nunca saberei ao certo, e não acho que seja o caso. Ele vivia com a cabeça em outro lugar, mas parecia feliz e saudável a maior parte do tempo.

As pessoas que realmente sofrem com esse tipo de situação são os membros da família. Os seus muitos filhos e sua esposa, uma pessoa bastante animada. Mas sofrer era uma decisão que cabia a eles, e preferiram não sofrer. Optaram por incluir o mal de Alzheimer como um fator a mais na equação de suas vidas pelo meio do qual pudessem aprender e crescer em família. Eles ficaram muito mais unidos. Viram que precisavam pedir ajuda na hora da necessidade (nesse caso estou incluída), e criar uma rede de puro amor para amparar esse homem que era tão importante na vida de todos eles.

O mal de Alzheimer foi uma tragédia, pois retirou este homem, em vida, do seio familiar. Foi uma dádiva no sentido que lhes deu a oportunidade de crescer em espírito e como família, de uma maneira que não teria acontecido de outra forma. Eram todas pessoas adoráveis.



A minha filha tem um cromossomo a mais [síndrome de Down]. Muitas pessoas gostam de dizer que ela sofre com uma doença. Não acredito que seja isso, pois não é o que ela transparece. Mas vai saber, né?

Gosto de pensar que ela é uma dissidente que desejava vivenciar o mundo de uma perspectiva diferente. Gosto de pensar que ela me empurra na direção de entender o amor incondicional. Essa menininha jamais se encaixará em uma caixa, qualquer que seja. A natureza da síndrome de Down torna o futuro um incógnito.

Preciso amá-la como ela é, neste exato momento, e no future, como quer que ele se desenrole, e aconteça o que acontecer.

Considero isso uma lição digna de ser aprendida.—Meriah[1]

*

Uma atitude de louvor ou gratidão em situações difíceis atrai o Espírito e o poder do Senhor na situação. Eleva o nosso espírito e o das pessoas ao nosso redor, pois nos ajuda a ter uma perspectiva positiva. Dá-nos fé – fé no Senhor e fé diante de circunstâncias negativas, e a fé é a vitória. Sem dúvida a fé muda a situação, mas em situações ruins muitas vezes é difícil ter fé para orar, pois nossa reação natural é se entristecer, ficar perturbado ou desanimar. Por isso o louvor é o contra-ataque a essas coisas negativas. Ele domina o nosso espírito e reação às circunstâncias, dando-nos fé, confiança no Senhor e uma energia espiritual positiva.—Maria Fontaine[2]

*

Nós sempre enfrentaremos dificuldades nesta vida. As circunstâncias nunca serão perfeitas aqui na terra, enquanto estivermos na vida física. Por isso, às vezes, somos tentados a temer e nos preocupar. Mas a maneira de superar tudo isso é olhando para Mim, concentrando-se na luz.

Concentrar-se na luz é deixar de olhar para as poças de lama dos desapontamentos, temores ou situações difíceis, e olhar para o chafariz de águas borbulhantes que é a Minha perspectiva positiva. Em vez de fazer caretas por causa da lama, venha admirar o meu espetacular chafariz. Pode contemplar as lindas cores se movimentando nas águas refrescantes, juntar as mãos e matar a sua sede. Pode tirar os sapatos e pular na água borbulhante, jogar água pra cá e pra lá, e beber à vontade.

Mantenha os olhos em Mim, lembrando-se que Eu estou no controle. Absorva as Minhas promessas por meio da leitura e meditação. Brinque alegremente na água na Minha presença, Me louvando apesar do que acontece ao seu redor. Isso é concentrar-se na luz! Jesus fala em profecia[3]

*

Tudo tem o seu lado positivo. Toda pessoa e toda situação tem algo de bom, e a maior parte do tempo não é muito óbvio. É preciso procurar, e às vezes procurar com bastante atenção. O meu velho eu estava satisfeito em se recostar e observar ao meu redor. Se eu via algo negativo, seguia meus sentimentos. Não queria procurar ou pensar muito no positivo. Era muito mais fácil relaxar e apenas aceitar o que via (geralmente o lado negativo e ruim).

Agora, quando estou diante de uma situação difícil ou de um desafio, eu penso: “O que isso tem de bom?” Por mais terrível que seja a situação, sempre posso encontrar algo de bom se parar para pensar a respeito. Tudo tem seu lado bom e ruim, e nos oferece aprendizado. Então, no mínimo, podemos aprender com as experiências ruins; mas geralmente não para por aí. Se observarmos com atenção, geralmente descobriremos algo bom e positivo sobre toda pessoa ou situação.—Dani[4]

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A maior descoberta da minha geração é que o ser humano pode alterar sua vida se mudar suas atitudes. —William James

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Escolher uma atitude positiva é um processo. Não é algo que se faz apenas uma vez e conta que tudo vai ser perfeito a partir daquele momento. Ainda sofreremos reveses, demoras, acidentes, frustrações, argumentos, fadiga, e medo. O segredo é a maneira como reagimos a tudo isso. Queremos deixar as situações arruinarem nosso dia, ou preferimos encarar o futuro com esperança? Temos o poder de escolher…

Ao optarmos por uma atitude positiva cada dia, na verdade estamos atraindo mais experiências positivas, e reduzindo a possibilidade de termos experiências negativas. Você talvez tenha reparado que cada experiência muitas vezes determina a qualidade da experiência seguinte, causando uma reação em cadeia em nossas vidas. Se uma coisinha der errado, pode desencadear uma série de problemas no resto do dia. Nesse contexto, é fácil perceber a força de uma atitude positiva. Em vez de deixar pequenas coisas arruinarem o nosso dia, deveríamos ignorá-las e seguir adiante sem nos deixarmos afetar.—Autor anônimo[5]

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O coração alegre serve de bom remédio.—Provérbios 17:22[6]

Publicado no Âncora em julho de 2013. Tradução Hebe Rondon Flandoli.


[1] www.mamapedia.com/voices/the-choice-to-suffer.

[2] Publicado originalmente em fevereiro de 2007.

[3] Publicado originalmente em agosto de 2008.

[4] www.positivelypresent.com/2010/03/train-yourself-to-be-positive.html.

[5] http://www.wingsfortheheart.com/consciously-choosing-a-positive-attitude.htm.

[6] NVI.

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You Don’t Have to Be Perfect

http://anchor.tfionline.com/post/you-dont-have-be-perfect/
Words from Jesus

Audio length: 9:17
Download Audio (8.5MB)

Don’t be afraid of the weakness of your human nature, or your personality traits that you don’t like, because I work through these things to help you to come to Me, to depend on Me. These lacks help to keep you close to Me. I see the humility of spirit, the dependence on Me, and this is pleasing to Me.

I look at your heart above all, and I know that your heart is toward Me and desires to please Me. I know your desire is to serve Me to the best of your ability and to love Me with all your heart, mind, and spirit. And yet sometimes you fail, or think you fail. Sometimes you make mistakes, you don’t follow Me closely enough, or you don’t re­member to pray. You’re too slow or too fast, too busy, or you’re not as loving or giving as you feel you should be. These mistakes are a part of human nature.

When you forget to do something or fail or make a mistake, it doesn’t mean that you’re not doing well overall, or that you’re not trying to do all you can to please Me and serve Me. As long as you’re doing your best for Me and striving to be guided by My Word to the best of your ability, you can trust that I won’t allow you to make too big a mistake.

It’s good to try your best, to make the effort and do your best to be guided by My Word and Spirit. But know that when you slip and feel you don’t measure up, this isn’t a setback or failure in My eyes, if you allow Me to use it to teach you and strengthen you.

So even when you make mistakes, or don’t do as well as you could have in a certain area, or you fall short in loving others, don’t let the Enemy come in with condemnation. Rather use it as a steppingstone to humble yourself before Me, as you seek Me and continue to depend on Me. Then it will be a meaningful experience—one that I can use to draw you even closer to Me.


The transformation process

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. … Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.”—2 Corinthians 3:18–4:11

All have sinned and come short of the glory of God, and there is none righteous, no, not one. The only righteousness a man has is that righteousness which I have put within him—the righteousness of love, My Spirit, My truth.

Many times following the path I’ve set before you is a struggle, because you’re still in the flesh, and the flesh wars against the Spirit. This is the struggle you have to endure during your days on earth—to continually let My Spirit reign in your heart. But as you try to live according to My Word—as you work to be led of My Spirit, you bring forth the fruits of the Spirit, the fruits of the spiritual life.

Yet it’s impossible to attain to the fullness of life by the Spirit, its totality, until you shed the life of the flesh and enter into the spiritual realm.2 But don’t feel bad or condemned when you miss the mark in some areas of your spiritual life. The goal is not to attain perfection. I don’t expect you to attain perfection, but I do wish for you to partake of as much of the life of the Spirit as possible so that you’ll be connected to Me and to My Spirit.

Continue to press toward the mark of the high calling I have set before you, even though you may stumble or fall sometimes. As long as you keep going, as long as you keep getting up, as long as you keep trying, you’re a success. You only fail when you don’t lean on Me for help, or when you don’t let Me pick you up and help you when you’ve fallen. When you realize what success is in My eyes, there can be no condemnation in Me, for I don’t condemn you.


Emphasizing the positive

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”—Philippians 3:12–143

Do you remember what Paul said right after his famous “O wretched man” cry? He then said, “I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Despite his problems, trials, and failings, he thanked God anyway, and that helped him keep the victory. And then next he was able to say, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.”
You need to be thankful for all the good. You need to emphasize the positive and forget the negative. Look at all the progress you’ve made. You’re learning and growing. But the Enemy robs you of the joy in this when you look at what you’re not doing. He gets your eyes off the victories and on to the failures. But the victories are so much bigger than the failures.

It takes faith to not feel guilty. It takes faith to not be condemned and feel like a failure. It takes faith in My Word, and in the knowledge that if you follow Me the best you can, I will be pleased. In the last analysis, that’s what it comes down to—trust and faith in Me.

If you have too negative a view of yourself, you won’t be able to believe that I can do mighty works through you. You won’t be able to trust that I’m changing you, and you can lose heart and stop trying. People thrive on encouragement, caring words, inspiration, and the motivation that I will do it and that I love them.

Seek out the good in others, seeing them and their possibilities and potential with eyes of love and understanding. Without encouragement, a person can lose heart. Without appreciation and words of commendation, people feel like giving up. But if someone comes along and says, “You’re doing a good job! I’m thankful for you,” then that person musters the courage to keep on going. People often need some encour­agement and appreciation, and that will go a long way toward helping them believe that they’re making it, and that they can make it. People need the Gospel in shoe leather.


Depending on Me

I have called you out of darkness into My marvelous light.4 I brought you not only out of darkness but also into My royal family. I clothed you with My own robe of righteousness—making you fit for My kingdom.5 You are one of My own special people: You belong to Me, and I delight in you.

I have chosen to use imperfect ones like you to proclaim My praises. I know you cannot do this as well as you would like. The truth is, without My help, you cannot do it at all. This gap between My call on your life and your ability to respond is part of My plan. It heightens your awareness of your utter insufficiency. Because you are Mine, I allow you to connect your deep inadequacy to My utter sufficiency.

Instead of focusing on your imperfection, make every effort to stay connected with Me. The more you depend on My resources, the more you can celebrate My majesty. In whatever you do, consistently rely on My help—living in the joyous wonder of self-forgetfulness. As you look to Me continually, your face will reflect the light of My surpassing glory.6

Originally published January 2001, unless otherwise indicated. Adapted and republished July 2014. Read by Jerry Paladino. Music by Michael Dooley. Copyright@thefamily.org


1 ESV.

2 Galatians 5:16.

3 NIV.

4 1 Peter 2:9.

5 Isaiah 61:10.

6 Sarah Young, Jesus Lives (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2009).

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"Smile!" song by Glee

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How to Be a Good Role Model for Your Kids: The Pygmalion Effect

By Dr. Joanne Stern, ETR, July 11, 2014

I want to share with you a powerful secret that will help your kids reach their full potential. The secret I want to share with you doesn’t take any extra time out of your life. Nor does it require any extra commitment—financial or otherwise—from you or them. If you put this secret to use, you’ll go a long way toward creating happy, confident, self-motivated kids.

But before I tell you what the secret is… let me tell you a story about the first time I personally experienced this secret’s power.

In my first career after college, I taught German at a school in the northern suburbs of Chicago. I met Danny when he walked into my second-year class at the start of his sophomore year. The school had placed Danny into level two—the second level from the bottom. This had a big impact on him. He believed the school’s view of him and was resigned to being in what the other kids called “the dumb level.”

But that year Danny got solid “B” grades. Because he was a serious student, I asked him if I could recommend that he be moved up a level for the following year. I told him he would have to work a little harder, but that I was sure he could do it. He looked pleased that I believed in him and agreed.

Danny studied diligently. At the end of the school term he again scored solid “B” grades. Once more I talked with Danny and asked him if he would like me to recommend him for level four—“the smart level”—for the following year. This time, he grinned broadly and told me he was ready to go for it.

You can probably guess the outcome of Danny’s senior year. He received solid “B” grades. When Danny graduated, he thanked me for believing in him and for giving him the opportunity to accomplish what no one else thought he could.

I was only 25 at the time. I knew nothing about the power of expectations or the principles of self-fulfilling prophecies. I didn’t know there were already well-respected studies showing that if a teacher genuinely believes in the high achievement of a student, he or she will rise to meet that expectation. Or that, conversely, those same studies show that if a teacher believes the student is not capable, the child will come to believe it, too. He will learn slowly, as is expected of him.

In fact, research clearly shows that what another person believes about you will likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy—for better or for worse. You will outperform if someone influential in your life believes you can do it. You will underperform if that person thinks you will underperform.

In George Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion, professor Henry Higgins transformed Eliza Doolittle from a Cockney girl into a well-born lady. At least in speech and manners. But Higgins hardly noticed her except as an object of his experiment. He treated her rudely and never transformed his attitude about her.

Because Higgins continued to see her as a poor girl, Eliza never felt confident. But Freddy Eynsford-Hill saw her as the fair lady she had become. She explained to him, “I know I can be a lady to you because you always treat me as a lady and always will.”

People become what others believe them to be. They achieve what significant people in their lives believe they can achieve.

The phenomenon of the Pygmalion Effect is also true in organizations. The way managers treat subordinates, and what they expect of them, largely determines their performance. It’s also true of families.

What you say to your kids will either help them reach success or knock them down, deflate their self-esteem and foster a lack of confidence. Your attitude toward them will spill into their psyche and influence how they feel about themselves.

Let me give you an example from my own parenting. When my older daughter, Carol, was a child she had a frustratingly slow morning routine. Although her younger sister and I hit the floor running, Carol rolled out of bed and spent her first 10 minutes cuddling with our dog. That put her 10 minutes behind schedule. I could have simply awakened her 10 minutes earlier to give her time to wake up. Instead, I nagged her to hurry, hurry, hurry.

I didn’t realize it then, but Carol’s behavior created an attitude within me that carried over as she grew older. When she was in high school I was constantly on her case about her studies and her school projects. One day, she confronted me. “Mom, why do you always interrogate me about my homework? You know I always do my homework.”

I began to realize that I had subconsciously developed a belief about Carol that she was not productive or conscientious. Neither was true. I am grateful that Carol had the courage to call me on my negative message before too much damage had been done to her self-belief.

It is easy to give our kids the wrong message. We are often frazzled, too busy and not paying attention. When we get stressed, we take it out on those closest to us without realizing the harmful effect it has on them.

When your child spills her milk you might say, “Good grief! You’re such a klutz. You spill your milk at least three times a week.” Hearing the word “klutz,” your child will believe, as you do, that she is one. She is likely to fulfill your expectation by continuing to spill her milk. Better to say, “I know how careful you can be. I know you’ll do better next time.”

When you overhear your teenager gossiping maliciously about another girl in school, you can reprimand her for being mean. She is likely to continue being mean. Or you can say to her, “Honey, it’s not like you to talk about other kids so hurtfully. I know what a kind person you are. That’s not really you.” When she hears what you believe about her, she is more likely to become that person.

It may sound counterintuitive. But there’s a powerful secret to parenting that will help your kids unlock their full potential. And it will greatly strengthen your family as a result: Your kids will succeed not at the level of their capacity, but at the level they believe their capacity to be. And you play a big role in what their belief is.

Even when your kids are grown and have children of their own, you need to encourage and support them. They face challenges every day. And sometimes they fail—just like you and I did at their age. They may be starting their own business… or moving into the family business. They may be going through a rough patch in their marriage. Their kids may be having a difficult time at school. It’s tough out there. Your kids—and your grandkids, if you have them—need to know that someone who cares about them still believes in them.

Creating a positive Pygmalion Effect for your kids will flow over onto future generations as well. When your kids have self-confidence, they choose healthy relationships. They apply for better jobs. They socialize with people who are more self-motivated. Most important, they treat their kids—your grandchildren—with the same respect they have gotten from you. Overall, they are more successful in life. And your family becomes more successful as a result.

Don’t give your kids false hope. Don’t push them into something for which they do not have the talent or skills to succeed.

But do help them see their full potential. Do support a “can do” mentality by letting them know they can face what is coming and achieve what they reach for. Do tell them you believe they will accomplish whatever they set out to do.

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How to Change Negative Attitudes to Positive Ones

Whitney Hopler, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
Saturday, August 20, 2011

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Jan Coate's book, Attitude-inize:10 Secrets to a Positive You, (Beacon Hill Press, 2011).

A positive attitude contributes to success in life more than anything else, according to a Stanford Research Institute study that shows a full 87.5 percent of people’s success can be traced to their positive attitudes, while just 12.5 percent of their success comes from their aptitude, knowledge, or skills.

What can you do if your mind is weighed down by negative attitudes that limit your success? You can change your attitudes, with God’s help. Here’s how:

Understand the power of attitude. If you allow negative attitudes (such as anxiety, envy, anger, bitterness, or pride) to grab hold of your mind, those attitudes will lead you to make negative decisions that will affect your life in negative ways. But if you choose to develop and maintain positive attitudes, your life will become positive as a result. Even when you encounter the challenges and tragedies of living in a fallen world, you’ll be able to deal with them successfully when you choose to approach life with positive attitudes. But keep in mind that changing negative attitudes to positive ones isn’t an instant event; it’s a lifelong process that requires perseverance. Ask God to help you each day, and study Jesus’ life, since He is the ultimate example of how to live in a fallen world with positive attitudes.

Respond rather than react to unexpected change. Change will sometimes surprise you, and when that change is negative you may be drawn into a crisis. Whenever that happens, avoid reacting negatively and instead deliberately decide to respond positively. Keep in mind that you can’t control situations or people, but you can choose how you’ll respond to them. Ask God to give you four key gifts to help you respond to unexpected change in positive ways: hope, faith in Him, a clear vision of what He wants you to do next, and the energy to do what He wants you to do. Whenever it’s possible for you to change troubling circumstances or relationships, make the effort to do so. Whenever you can’t change them, ask God to give you the peace you need to deal with them.

Be accountable for your life. Let go of a victim’s attitude, since blaming others for what’s happened to you (from divorce to a job loss) won’t help make your life better. Avoid self-pity and excuses for not changing your life, too. Realize that no matter what has happened to you in the past, you do have the power to change, with God’s help. Focus on God’s promises to give you the strength you need to grow and move into a better future, and rely on that strength every day. Instead of looking inward, look outward to other people in need and obey God’s call to help them; in the process, you’ll start to feel better about your own life. Take responsibility for moving forward in the ways God leads you to move forward, and you’ll see your life becoming more positive.

Examine your soul. Ask God to help you take an honest look inside your soul to identify what specific types of negative attitudes are lurking inside, such as: pride, fear, anger, sadness, jealousy, doubt, resentment, bitterness, and low self-esteem. Then confess each of the negative attitudes to God and repent of them, inviting God to transform you from the inside out. Going forward, each time you become aware of an unhealthy, negative thought in your mind, give it to God in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind so you can think the way He wants you to think – which will help you develop positive attitudes to fill your soul regularly.

Forgive yourself and others. Accept the forgiveness that God offers you for your sins, and be faithful to God’s call to forgive others who have sinned against you. Doing so will release the poison of bitterness from your soul, which will flush out negative attitudes and make room for positive attitudes to take their place. In the process, your stress levels will decrease and the amount of peace you experience will increase.

Prepare for obstacles. It’s inevitable in this fallen world that you’ll face difficult circumstances in the future that can lead you to give into negativity if you don’t prepare for them now. So invest time in practices that will help you develop new habits of positive thinking that will solidify positive attitudes in your life. When fear and discouragement cloud your thinking, seek wisdom from prayer, reading the Bible, and talking with godly people you trust. Pray regularly for God to fulfill His unique purposes in your life, and expect big results, with faith in God’s sovereign power. When you need encouragement, read God’s promises to you in the Bible and spend time with encouraging people while avoiding negative ones. Be patient when working to reach the goals God has inspired you to achieve, relying on His strength each step of the way. Keep in mind that every obstacle you may face pales in comparison to the power of God’s love for you.

Learn to receive and give love. The more you can receive God’s love and give it to other people, the more positive your perspective on life will become. So make your relationship with God your top priority, and devote lots of time and energy to prayer and other spiritual disciplines that will help you grow closer to Him. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you, and base your identity on the fact that you’re God’s beloved child. Pray for the Holy Spirit to manifest more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in your life, so you’ll be empowered to love other people in the ways God wants you to love them.

Take charge of your thoughts. Ask God to help you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, and practice thinking about what’s true, lovely and honorable until doing so becomes a habit. Read the Bible regularly to remind yourself of how blessed you are as someone who is accepted, secure, and significant thanks to your relationship with Jesus.

Transform from the inside out. Release control of every part of your life – from your relationships to your work – to God, trusting Him to guide you to what’s best in all of your decisions. As you abandon a self-centered life for a God-centered life, you’ll find that you’ll be following God’s guidance because you want to, not because you have to do so. Your sense of hope will grow in the process, which will nurture positive attitudes in your life.

Make a positive difference in God’s kingdom. Pray that God will make you a vessel for His love to flow through into the lives of other people. Every day, make the most of the opportunities God gives you to inspire other people to develop positive attitudes, by loving and serving them through both what you say and what you do.

Adapted from Attitude-inize:10 Secrets to a Positive You, copyright 2011 by Jan Coates. Published by Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City, a division of Nazarene Publishing House, Kansas City, Mo.

Jan Coates is a popular speaker and the founder of Set Free Today Ministry. She received her Bachelor’s Degree from Park University in Kansas City, MO. Since writing Set Free, she has started her own ministry, Jan Coates Consulting, where she is also President. She has written for several magazines, including Boston Globe, INC. Magazine, Significant Living, Christian Women Today, and CBN.com. She has also been a contributing author forMiracles and Hope, The Spirit-Filled Believer, Then Comes the Morning, When God Steps In, and Extraordinary Miracles in the Lives of Ordinary People.

Whitney Hopler is a freelance writer and editor who serves as both a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and the editor of About.com’s site on angels and miracles (http://angels.about.com/). Contact Whitney at:angels.guide@about.comto send in a true story of an angelic encounter or a miraculous experience like an answered prayer.

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Be Positive

You can’t always choose your circumstances, but you can choose your outlook on life. You can choose to be stiff, stern and grumpy, or be upbeat, cheerful and positive. Sure, you may sometimes feel down or you may be struggling with pain or discomfort, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be an encouragement to those around you.

Every stage of life has its upsides and downsides. Focus on the upsides. Be positive. Think and talk about the good things-and keep at it for the rest of your days.

It says in the Bible that as a person thinks, so is he. If you make a habit of viewing situations positively, you will not only be happier for it, but you will be a positive person-the kind others love to be around.

from the book "For the Golden Years- From Jesus with Love" www.auroraproduction.com

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