By Lilia Potters
I have struggled through quite a few situations and hardships in my life that tested me sorely. While many were beyond my control, I’ve made my share of mistakes in these circumstances. I didn’t always have the greatest attitude, made choices I wish I hadn’t made, felt like throwing in the towel, was hurt, resulting in having a hard time forgiving and letting go of the past. I battled bitterness and guilt, discouragement and depression, and all but lost faith completely a few times along the way.
We all go through difficult things in life—circumstances that break our hearts, keep us awake at night, and tempt us to give up in despair. Sometimes the heartache from a past experience is so deep that we still struggle with it years later, or a situation never changes, making us wonder if we will ever be able to live the life that we have hoped for all along.
While the Enemy often tries to steal away my joy and peace, and destroy my hope and faith, the Lord always helps me to carry on and hold on, and I even live a joyful life most of the time—because greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.1 God helps me to overcome and see the good in even the most difficult circumstances.
There have been times in my life when I felt rejected, looked down on, as if I had zero value, like I just wasn’t good enough. I felt alone and left behind, because somehow, I thought, I must not measure up to someone’s expectations. It’s a very difficult feeling to go through, and maybe one of the most debilitating. It often made me work harder than I should have to “deserve” the respect of those I worked with, or to earn the love of those I wished would love me for who I was.
When we don’t receive the love and respect we need, or it’s not manifested in the way we would like for it to be manifested, it can have a long-lasting effect on the way we live our life. That’s what happened to me. I continually felt like there must be something more I could or should do to be worthy of love and approval.
When the tears fell and my heart was breaking, I was tempted to harden my heart, doubt, and blame—and sometimes I did. It took a long time for me to come to the realization that God gives each of us free will, and that sometimes people will use their free will and do things that hurt others in the process.
One scripture that helped heal my heart is that Jesus was a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.2 Realizing that He experienced every heartache I ever experienced, and that He placed every tear I cried in a bottle3 and kept track of every toss and turn in my sleepless nights, helped me pour out my heart to Him and catch my breath whenever the hurts threatened to overwhelm me.
I asked Him to help me through those painful times in my life, and He did. He still does. He never leaves my side, and when I draw close to Him, He draws close to me4 with love and understanding. There never are any magic answers or dramatic changes in my circumstances when I’m going through these battles—just His presence to help me through the heartaches, and the assurance that He values me. I’m so glad I don’t have to do anything to be “good enough” for Him, and that He accepts me just the way I am.
I recently read something that helped me get a better perspective on past events that were not entirely positive: “Life is like a piano: the white keys represent happiness, the black keys represent sadness. As you go through life, remember that the black keys make music, too.”
We can’t only take the good in life and reject the bad, because we need both to make up the melody of life. Both sharp and flat notes are needed. It all comes back down to, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”5 While some things could and should have been done differently, He allowed every single event in my life to shape me—or will yet.
The songs of our lives are a work in progress and are still being written. One day we will be able to press replay and hear our lives’ melodies in their entirety and appreciate every single note—even the dark ones.
Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.—Ephesians 5:19–20
The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.—Zephaniah 3:17
1 1 John 4:4.
2 Isaiah 53:3.
3 Psalm 56:8.
4 James 4:8.
5 Romans 8:28.
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