An Ode to Television

The Twenty-Third Channel

By Philip Day

The TV is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

It makes me lie down on the sofa,

It destroys my soul.

It leads me in the path of sex and violence

For the sponsor's sake. 

Yea, though I walk

In the shadow of Christian responsibilities,

There will be no interruption,

For the TV is with me. 

Its cable and remote, 

They comfort me.

It prepares a commercial for me

In the presence of all my worldliness. 

It anoints my head with

Humanism and consumerism.

My coveting runneth over.

Surely laziness and ignorance

Shall follow me

All the days of my life.

And I shall dwell in the house

Watching TV forever.