Warren Buffett Explains How He Conquered Stage Fright

Carmine Gallo, Forbes, Feb. 1, 2017

“I had been terrified of public speaking. I couldn’t do it,” billionaire Warren Buffett admitted on an HBO documentary that chronicled his life. Buffett conquered his nerves by enrolling in a public speaking course. He knew that if he couldn’t speak in public, it would end his career.

Overcoming his fear changed Warren Buffett’s life. “Every week the instructor would give a pencil to whoever had the done the most of what we had learned the week before,” Buffett explained. “So in the fourth or fifth week, I proposed [to Susie]. And she said yes. That week I got the pencil, and got engaged.”

The documentary titled Becoming Warren Buffett isn’t the first time we’ve heard Buffett promote the value of public speaking. It did, however, offer a rare glimpse into Buffett’s private office where he proudly showed off his Dale Carnegie public speaking certificate, which he received on January 13, 1952.

“In my office, you will not see the degree that I got from the University of Nebraska. You will not see the master’s degree I got from Columbia University. But you will see the award certificate I got from the Dale Carnegie Course,” Buffett said.

I once read a book that featured training methods of elite military forces. In one chapter the author acknowledged his initial fear of high-altitude parachute jumping. How did he overcome his fear? By forcing himself to do it over and over and over until he “learned to love it.” If a person can overcome the fear of jumping from an airplane at 25,000 feet, it’s possible for anyone to learn to love public speaking. I’ve seen it happen countless times.

For one of my earlier books on communication skills I interviewed then real-estate mogul, Barbara Corcoran, before she became a star on ABC’s Shark Tank. “Communication is responsible for 90 percent of my success, without a doubt,” Corcoran said.

Fearless communication didn’t come easy for Corcoran. After an incident that gave her a severe case of stage fright, Corcoran–like Buffett–decided to conquer her fear to advance her career. Although she didn’t enroll in a public speaking course, she followed a similar method as Buffett did and found an opportunity to speak frequently. Corcoran pitched herself to NYU as a real-estate instructor. Over the next five years of teaching, Corcoran’s stage fright gradually diminished. And, like Buffett, public speaking brought an additional, unexpected benefit. Sitting in one of Corcoran’s classes was a sales dynamo who would go on to sell more condominiums for The Corcoran Group than any other realtor in the city.

People are often surprised when I give them a list of famous leaders who suffered from stage fright and who conquered their fears. I only write about those who have acknowledged their fears publicly. But for every one who is public, there are many others–billionaires, entrepreneurs, CEOs–who have expressed their fear to me in private.

The desire to be socially accepted by the group is deeply engrained in our DNA. It’s completely natural to want to impress people. Even Steve Jobs, who many considered one of the most charismatic speakers of our time, was a bundle of nerves before some of his most famous product launches. Jobs worked at it, and become a more polished, confident and fearless speaker as time went on.

The secret to overcoming the fear of public speaking is a three-step process. First, don’t be hard on yourself. Keep in mind that the most successful people in the world go through it. Second, start small. Buffett took a class with a few other students. Corcoran didn’t start by speaking to millions on television; she taught a small class. Third, take every opportunity to present and do it over and over and over.

Go ahead and jump. You might learn to love it.

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7 Commandments of a Great Marriage

by Ron Edmondson





I have an advanced degree in counseling and hundreds of hours experience working with couples. I’ve taught marriage retreats for years. I wouldn’t say I’m an “expert” in marriage—because I’m married—and my wife reads my blog. That would be a stretch. Actually, I know more to do than I have the practice of doing. (Isn’t that true for most of us?)

But I’ve learned a few things. I’ve observed things that work and things that don’t.

I think there are some necessary ingredients for a healthy marriage. That’s the point of this post.

Want a healthier marriage?

Consider these 7 Commandments of Marriage:

Thou shalt serve one another. A good marriage practices mutual submission. Ephesians 5:21 commands us to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. Marriage is not a 50/50 deal. It’s a 100/100 deal—each willing to surrender all to the other person.

How are you at serving your spouse? Would they say you strive to serve them more everyday? Are you more the giver or the taker in the relationship? Be honest.

Thou shalt love unconditionally. Unconditionally means without conditions. (See how deep this blog can be.) I’ll love you if… is not the command. It’s I’ll love you even if not. God commands us to love our enemies. How much more should this commitment be strong within a marriage?

Are you loving your spouse even with the flaws that you can see better than anyone else? Here’s a quick test: Does the way you communicate with your spouse indicate you have the highest regard for them—always?

Thou shalt respect one another. The Golden Rule covers this one. Everyone wants to be respected—so in any good marriage respect is granted to and by both parties. And, by the way, I believe respect too is to be unconditional.

In my experience, this one is sometimes easier for one spouse to give than the other, especially the one who works hardest in the marriage. Respect is mostly given because of actions. But respect is important for both spouses. Most people grant respect only when all conditions are met to be respected. That makes sense, but it doesn’t provide motivation to improve when the other party needs it most. All of us need someone who believes in us even when we don’t believe in ourselves. That’s the grace of respect. When most of us feel respected we will work harder to keep that respect.

Thou shalt put no other earthly relationships before this one. “Let not man put asunder” is not just a good King James Version wedding line. It’s God’s desire for a marriage. Great couples strive to allow no one—even children—even in-laws—to get in the way of building a healthy marriage.

Wow! Isn’t this a hard one? Yet I can’t tell you how many marriages I have seen ruined because the children came first or the in-laws interfered. I’ve seen marriages ruined by friends—sometimes co-workers—who had little regard for the integrity of the marriage, and so they built a wedge between the couple. As hard as it is sometimes, great couples work to protect the marriage from every outside interruption.

Thou shalt commit beyond feelings. The Bible talks a great deal about the renewal of our mind (Romans 12:2, for example). The mind is more reliable than emotions. You may not always feel as in love as you did the day you married. There will be tough seasons in any marriage. Strong marriages last because they have a commitment beyond their emotional response to each other. And when that’s true for both parties, feelings almost always reciprocate and grow over time.

As true and necessary as this is, great marriage partners continue to pursue each other—they date one another—fostering the romantic feelings that everyone craves in a relationship. Sobering question: When’s the last time you pursued your spouse?

Thou shalt consider the other person’s interest ahead of thine own. Again, we are commanded to to do this in all relationships. How much more should we in marriage?

Over the years, as couples get comfortable with one another, I’ve observed couples who become very selfish with their individual time. Sometimes, for example, one spouse pursues a hobby that excludes the other one, and more and more time is committed to that hobby. The other spouse begins to feel neglected. It may be allocation of time, in actions or the words used to communicate, but sometimes a spouse can make the other spouse feel they are no longer valuable to them. Are you considering how you are being perceived by your spouse?

Thou shalt complete one another. The Biblical command is one flesh (Ephesians 5). I’m not sure that’s anymore possible than the command that our individual flesh be molded into the image of Christ. It’s a command we obey in process. We are saints still under construction. We still sin. And that process isn’t completed here on earth in my opinion. So it is in a marriage. We never completely “get there,” but we set such a high standard for our marriage that we continue to press towards the goal.

There is no better place where “iron sharpens iron” than in a marriage. Cheryl makes me a better person. And, if I can be so bold—I think I do the same for her. There are qualities in her I need and qualities in me she needs to become one flesh. But that’s a process. That takes time, humility, and intentionality. I must allow her to make me better—and likewise for her. But when we do, we are both the benefactors. One question I always ask couples: Are you becoming closer as a couple—or are you drifting further apart? That’s a great question to ask frequently throughout the marriage.

These are obviously not the “10 Commandments.” They aren’t even necessarily God’s commandments—although I do believe they are based on the commands of God. The point is to take Biblical principles and apply them to our marriage.

And, what marriage wouldn’t benefit from that?

Would you pause and consider—are you breaking any of these commands?

Ron Edmondson pastors Immanuel Baptist Church. Find out more at: http://www.ronedmondson.com/about

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