How to make people like you: 6 science-based conversation hacks

By Eric Barker, The Week, Dec. 12, 2013

So you want to know how to make people like you? Here are six research-backed tips:

1. Encourage people to talk about themselves. It gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money:

Talking about ourselves—whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money, researchers reported Monday…

"Self-disclosure is extra rewarding," said Harvard neuroscientist Diana Tamir, who conducted the experiments with Harvard colleague Jason Mitchell. Their findings were published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. "People were even willing to forgo money in order to talk about themselves," Ms. Tamir said. [The Wall Street Journal]

2. To give feedback, ask questions. If you use questions to guide people toward the errors in their thinking process and allow them to come up with the solution themselves, they’re less likely to feel threatened and more likely to follow through.

It’s not you searching for problems; it’s him searching for gaps in his thinking process. You want people to look for assumptions or decisions that don’t make sense upon further reflection…The more you can help people find their own insights, the easier it will be to help others be effective, even when someone has lost the plot on an important project. Bringing other people to insight means letting go of “constructive performance feedback,” and replacing it with “facilitating positive change.” [Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long]

3. Ask for advice. Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, persuasion expert Robert Cialdini and many others have all recommended asking for advice as a powerful way to influence others and warm them to you.

Wharton professor Adam Grant breaks down the science behind it:

New research shows that advice seeking is a surprisingly effective strategy for exercising influence when we lack authority. In one experiment, researcher Katie Liljenquist had people negotiate the possible sale of commercial property. When the sellers focused on their goal of getting the highest possible price, only eight percent reached a successful agreement. When the sellers asked the buyers for advice on how to meet their goals, 42 percent reached a successful agreement. Asking for advice encouraged greater cooperation and information sharing, turning a potentially contentious negotiation into a win-win deal. Studies demonstrate that across the manufacturing, financial services, insurance and pharmaceuticals industries, seeking advice is among the most effective ways to influence peers, superiors, and subordinates. [Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success]

4. The two-question technique. Ask them about something positive in their life. Only after they reply should you ask them how they’re feeling about life in general. Sounds silly, but this method is based on research by Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman.

A positive answer on the first question will lead to them feeling more positive about their life in general when you ask the second question:

The same pattern is found if a question about the students’ relations with their parents or about their finances immediately precedes the question about general happiness. In both cases, satisfaction in the particular domain dominates happiness reports. Any emotionally significant question that alters a person’s mood will have the same effect. [Thinking, Fast and Slow]

5. Repeat the last three words. Active listening has incredible power, and hostage negotiators use it to build rapport. What’s the quick and dirty way to do active listening without training? Social skills expert and author Leil Lowndes recommends simple repetition: “…simply repeat—or parrot—the last two or three words your companion said, in a sympathetic, questioning tone. That throws the conversational ball right back in your partner’s court.”

It shows you’re listening and interested, and it lets them get back to telling their story. You’ve got to be slightly savvy about this one, but it’s surprisingly effective.

Surprisingly effective?

Yes, it is.

It is?

6. Gossip—but positively. Research shows what you say about others colors how people see you. Compliment other people, and you’re likely to be seen positively. Complain, and you’re likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate:

When you gossip about another person, listeners unconsciously associate you with the characteristics you are describing, ultimately leading to those characteristics’ being “transferred” to you. So, say positive and pleasant things about friends and colleagues, and you are seen as a nice person. In contrast, constantly complain about their failings, and people will unconsciously apply the negative traits and incompetence to you. [59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute]

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In Food Cravings, Sugar Trumps Fat

By Anahad O’Connor, NY Times, December 13, 2013

What makes a milkshake so irresistible?

Is it the sweet flavor that our taste buds are after? Or the smooth and creamy texture? Or perhaps it is the copious blend of fat and sugar?

An intriguing new study suggests that what really draws people to such treats, and prompts them to eat much more than perhaps they know they should, is not the fat that they contain, but primarily the sugar.

The new research tracked brain activity in more than 100 high school students as they drank chocolate-flavored milkshakes that were identical in calories but either high in sugar and low in fat, or vice versa. While both kinds of shakes lit up pleasure centers in the brain, those that were high in sugar did so far more effectively, firing up a food-reward network that plays a role in compulsive eating.

To their surprise, the researchers found that sugar was so powerful a stimulus that it overshadowed fat, even when the two were combined in large amounts. High sugar shakes that were low in fat ramped up the reward circuitry just as strongly as the more decadent shakes that paired sugar and fat in large quantities, suggesting that fat was a runner-up to sugar, said Eric Stice, the lead author of the study, which was funded by the National Institutes of Health and published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

"We do a lot of work on the prevention of obesity, and what is really clear not only from this study but from the broader literature over all is that the more sugar you eat, the more you want to consume it," said Dr. Stice, a senior research scientist at the Oregon Research Institute. "As far as the ability to engage brain reward regions and drive compulsive intake, sugar seems to be doing a much better job than fat."

The new findings add to a growing number of brain studies that are providing a more complex understanding of what drives people to overeat in the first place.

Heavily processed foods loaded with fat and sugar activate and potentially alter the same reward regions in the brain that are hijacked by alcohol and drugs of abuse. Though the extent to which these foods can provoke addictive behavior remains controversial, the results may help explain why millions of people who diet and struggle to lose weight ultimately fail.

"The obesity epidemic and the problems with overeating don’t have too much to do with people overeating fruits and healthy foods. They have a lot to do with people overeating excess sugars and fats," said Nicole Avena, a faculty member at the New York Obesity Research Center at Columbia University, who was not involved in the new study.

Dr. Avena said that people “can have all the willpower in the world. But if the brain reward system is being activated in a way that causes them to have a battle against their willpower, then it can be very difficult for them to control their intake.”

Dr. Stice said the bulk of brain research on fat and sugar was pointing to the idea that addressing societal problems with overeating should start with sugar.

"If you look at our American diet, most people are consuming considerably more sugar than fat," he said. "We’ve really ramped up the sugar in our diets, but we’ve backed off on fat."

In her own research, Dr. Avena has found that sugar and fat influence brain chemistry and behavior when consumed in large quantities. Animals given small amounts of each do not show many changes. But when they are given unlimited access to either, those that gorge on sugar in particular show changes in their opiate receptors—which help regulate pain, reward and euphoria—and when the sugar is suddenly taken away, they show signs of withdrawal.

Another researcher who has studied the impact of fat and sugar on the brain in people, Dr. David Ludwig, said it was not so much the “immediate hedonic response” to junk food that drives overconsumption, but its impact on the brain and the body over several hours.

Dr. Ludwig and his colleagues showed in brain imaging studies on adults that high sugar milkshakes stimulate reward regions but also cause spikes and drops in blood sugar levels. Four hours later, they showed, these blood sugar drops stimulate changes in brain activity that induce cravings—and those cravings are typically for foods that can quickly restore blood sugar levels, like desserts, starches and sweets.

"These foods themselves are not inherently addictive through their taste per se," said Dr. Ludwig, the director of the New Balance Foundation Obesity Prevention Center at Boston Children’s Hospital. "It’s the effects that they have on our metabolism. If our blood sugar is stable, we can walk by a bakery and be much less tempted than if our blood sugar is crashing. Your brain knows these foods are going to rescue low blood sugar. But then this sets up the next cycle."

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Militant rise galvanizes Assad's camp in Syria war

by Lee Keath, AP, Dec 13, 2013

DAMACUS, Syria (AP)—Ahmed Luay’s second-eldest son, a soldier in the Syrian army, fell in battle with rebels just over a month ago. Three more of his sons are still on the front lines in the Damascus suburbs. Luay insists he’s prepared to sacrifice them all in what he says is a war against a terrorist invasion.

For Luay and other staunch supporters of President Bashar Assad, the rise of Islamic militants among Syria’s rebels has crystalized a black-and-white vision of the bloody three-year conflict. The rebellion, they argue, has nothing to do with seeking democracy: It is a campaign by al-Qaida-linked fighters to impose an intolerant rule by strict Islamic law.

Their view hardens with every report of religious extremists eclipsing the opposition’s nationalist fighters and secular activists—carrying out suicide bombings, kidnapping moderate rebels, targeting Christians, Shiites and other minorities and implementing Shariah in areas they control.

In the latest sectarian slayings, state media and opposition activists said Friday that al-Qaida-linked fighters infiltrated the Damascus suburb of Adra and killed residents, most from the Alawite and Druse minorities, which largely support Assad. The Britain-based Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said at least 19 had been killed over the past two days, while other activists said the dead could number in the dozens.

Opposition supporters and their international backers have grown increasingly concerned over the Islamic militants, with the U.S. and Britain suspending non-lethal aid to the rebels this week. And fear of these extremists has swung some Syrians who were on the fence to prefer life under Assad.

Among die-hard Assad supporters, it has become the central battle cry, providing a clarity to a complicated and divisive war. It is common to hear them dismiss the idea that there are any “real Syrians” among the rebels.

"We are facing international terrorism, involving all the terrorists of the world," Luay, 53, told The Associated Press. "The war in Syria is not a war against the regime or a civil war or a war for certain demands. The war in Syria is between knowledge and ignorance, between right and wrong, between true and false religion."

Luay spoke last week as he prepared to mark the 40-day memorial of the death of his son Hassan, a 25-year-old lieutenant, was killed in a gunbattle with Muslim extremist rebels in Harasta, one of the suburbs east of Damascus where the army has been trying throughout the conflict to dislodge rebels in grueling warfare with no decisive victories. Two of his other sons have been wounded in battle and returned to the front.

In his phone calls with his sons, Luay says he tells them, “Fight until martyrdom”—and don’t get captured.

"It’s something we agreed on together at home," said Luay, who also has two more sons still too young for the army. "If you’re taken, it means torture and dismemberment. It will demoralize the other brothers. And to negotiate means haggling over the fate of our nation."

"All my children are offered for sacrifice for Syria," he said.

The chasm in the two sides’ view of the conflict only reinforces their seemingly unbridgeable differences as the government and opposition head into their first face-to-face peace talks in January.

Those who back the rebellion say the war cannot end if Assad remains in power. On the other side, Assad supporters contend it is simply a matter of defeating Islamic extremists. Once that happens, they say, Syrians will return to peaceable coexistence.

That vision largely discounts the demands for reforms that fueled the first protests against Assad in 2011. It also seems to downplay the difficulty of healing profound hatreds opened up among Syrians by a war that has killed more than 120,000 people, sent millions fleeing from their homes and has seen brutalities and massacres by both sides. Opposition activists blame the government’s bloody crackdown on the early anti-Assad protests for the chaos, saying that by choosing to crush dissent it forced the opposition to take up arms.

Luay insists that reconciliation is not an issue. “We Syrians don’t have a problem with each other,” he said. “Reconciliation with whom? With other Syrians? We don’t need that. Most of those fighting in Syria are not Syrians.”

Sheik Maamoun Rahmeh, a Sunni cleric, says the fight is no longer about demands for freedoms or reform.

"Syrians are just killing each other," he says. "This crisis has cost us the most valuable thing we had, security. Now we have lost that freedom." He calls the conflict a "war for existence," blaming "those people of strife who call for jihad."

In January 2012, Rahmeh was kidnapped by gunmen in his home village of Kfar Batna, in the countryside east of Damascus—because, he said, he was urging worshippers not to join the uprising.

His abductors rammed him with a car as he drove his motorcycle, piled him into their vehicle, took him to a secret location and tortured him for three hours. They cut off his ear and shot him through the jaw and in the leg. He says he heard his captors, thinking he was dead, debate whether to dump his body in a sewer or outside his own mosque. In the end, they chose the latter.

Five months ago, still recovering from his wounds, the 41-year-old cleric was named the imam at Syria’s most prominent mosque, the historic Umayyad Mosque in Damascus’ Old City. Friday sermons from the mosque are aired live on state TV, making it a crucial pulpit for the government to the Sunni community.

"Since the start … I have told people in my sermons that reform is a great and beautiful demand, but the path to it is not through killing, crime and destruction," he told AP, lifting his cleric’s cap to show the stump where his right ear was severed.

Reconciliation, he says, will come easily once Syrians “realize the threads of conspiracy that have been woven, aiming to take us back to the Stone Age.”

"If you really call for freedom as you claim, then let’s put our hands together and say, ‘Freedom comes from respecting each other’s rights and preserving each other’s blood. Freedom means bringing even greater security than we had before,’" he said.

The loss of security has been a major shock for Syrians. Under the tight grip of the Assad family rule the past four decades, violence and crime were almost non-existent. Government supporters talk with nostalgia of the pre-war days, contending that the country’s multiple sects and ethnicities lived peacefully together and that religious extremists are to blame for unleashing sectarian hatreds.

Khaled Mahjoub, a prominent industrialist, says Syria is fighting terrorism “on behalf of the world”—and that the United States and Europe should recognize this if they want the coming negotiations, known as “Geneva 2,” to succeed. Like other government supporters, he accuses Saudi Arabia, Turkey and other Gulf countries, which have been the main backers of the rebellion, of sending Muslim extremists to impose Saudi Arabia’s strict Wahhabi version of Sunni Islam.

"They came here to kill," he said. "Those guys are not pro-democracy. They are against democracy and want to have Shariah law."

Mahjoub, a Syrian-American who was an old school friend of Assad’s late older brother and who has organized reconciliation initiatives, says a two-track approach can resolve the crisis: a reconciliation program to bring Syrians back together, backed by a type of “Marshall Plan” project to rebuild the country, aimed at bringing prosperity.

"We don’t give a damn who started it. People are dying. We need to have a solution that will bring a safer today and better tomorrow," he said.

"Reconciliation is: We promise you will get a better tomorrow, and we forgive and forget."

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A evolução do DNA é Possivel?

A Evolução do DNA é Possível? from Dennis Molinski

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The Christmas Story: John the Baptist

By D.Brandt Berg
Audio length: 17:42
Download Audio (16.2MB)

“And there was in the days of Herod, the king of Judea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abia: and his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elisabeth. And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years. And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest’s office before God in the order of his course, according to the custom of the priest’s office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.”1

In the days of old, in the days of Israel, the priests and the Levites took turns in the duties of the temple.

“And the whole multitude of the people were praying without at the time of incense. And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.”2 The altar of incense perfumed the temple, and the incense was a type of the prayers of God’s people rising to the Lord.

Everything they did in the temple was an illustrated sermon of Christ and His church. God was continually giving them an illustration of what He intended for His church and Himself to be like. This is why when Jesus finally came, then the temple and all of the accompanying ceremony was done away with. Because “that which was perfect had come”3 in Jesus, then all of that which was merely a picture, as Paul calls it, “a shadow of things to come,” was done away with.4

But they were still going through the illustrations in Zacharias’ day, not long before it was to be done away with when Jesus died. At the moment of His death, the four-inch-thick veil of the temple was rent in twain and the Holy of Holies was exposed! The very place of the presence of God was exposed and was now accessible to everyone, not just the high priest. God really put an end to it when that happened, because Jesus’ sacrifice was the final sacrifice as far as God was concerned.

Emperor Vespasian sent General Titus down to Jerusalem in 70 AD, and the city and the temple were destroyed and all sacrificial worship ceased. Legend has it that the Shekinah Glory left the holy place and hovered for some days above the temple, and then finally departed entirely. As the Bible said, “Ichabod—the glory has departed.”5 God’s presence was no longer in a temple built with hands—it never had been, really, except symbolized by the Shekinah Glory—but the glory departed. Now, thank God, that temple is in our hearts, in the only temple left to God today, and that’s you and me!6

John the Baptist

To give you the background of what Zacharias was going through: “And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.”7 As I recall, the altar of incense was right against the veil in the center where they faced the Holy of Holies. “And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him. But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.”8

This was John the Baptist. God named him, no doubt a messenger from God. “And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth. For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord.”9 He was the greatest man ever born as far as God was concerned! That’s a big statement—“none greater born of women.”10 He was greater than Moses, greater than Elijah or Abraham.

“When Zacharias saw him, he was troubled and feared.” Do you think you’d be afraid if you saw an angel? When I saw angels, the first time it scared me half to death; the next time I rejoiced, but I was frightened too. It’s a thrilling experience!

“For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord.” We’re going to learn what made him so great. “And shall drink neither wine nor strong drink, and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother’s womb.”11

God has His rules, but He can make exceptions to them and do some very unusual things whenever He wants to. Here we have John the Baptist filled with the Holy Ghost before he was born! With man it is impossible, but with God nothing shall be impossible.12

“And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.” What was his ministry? Turning God’s children to the Lord. “And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias”—that’s the Greek form of the Hebrew name Elijah—“to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”13

The important part of this passage was that he would be great in the sight of the Lord, he would be filled with the Holy Ghost from his mother’s womb, and “He shall go before Him.”14 Who came first? John the Baptist or Jesus? John the Baptist. Both of their births were announced ahead of time. Both of their births were predicted ahead of time. Both of their births were miraculous. John was six months older than Jesus. They were literally cousins, and God had chosen John to prepare the way for his cousin, to go before Him.

Elijah was a mighty man of God, a very courageous man of God. “In the spirit and the power of Elijah.” What spirit and power was that? The Spirit and power of God! In other words, John the Baptist was supposed to be filled with the Holy Ghost from his mother’s womb; he was to have the spirit and power of Elijah.

Jesus later says something about this, that “If you will receive it, this is Elijah which was for to come.”15 The prophets of old had testified that before that great and notable day of the Lord came, Elijah should come to prepare the way of the Lord.16 This was prophesied after Elijah was long gone and dead. So because of their interpretation of this, they thought Elijah was going to be raised from the dead and appear to them again just before the Messiah was to come and to proclaim the coming of the Messiah.

Matthew 11 has something very interesting to say in a passage about John’s ministry. The Lord is talking to the multitudes concerning John. “What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with the wind?”17 A little rustling of the wind in the reeds? Is that what they went out to see? Let me tell you something, they went out to see a tornado! They went out to see a hurricane for God! Apparently John was like a wild man. They went out to see him burn!

Almost from the very beginning John lived in the wilderness, in the desert. He didn’t go to anybody’s Bible college; he didn’t go to anybody’s seminary. He didn’t go to anybody’s denomination or the Sanhedrin or get an ordination from man. Until his ministry began, he lived out in the wilderness, apparently alone with God. He didn’t start his ministry to announce the coming of the Lord until Jesus was about to begin His ministry and be baptized of John. John then began his ministry preparing the way of the Lord.

Jesus later said, “What did you go to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? Behold, they that wear soft clothing are in kings’ houses.”18 The usual priest or member of the Sanhedrin, is that what they went to see? The usual Scribes and Pharisees? They don’t create any sensation when they walk down the street. But if they walked down the street in a camel’s hair, rough-looking toga of some kind, with wild hair and beard, people would take another look!

I’m sure they didn’t have any barbers out there in the wilderness or the desert, and he probably had a nice husky beard. From all the artists’ conceptions of him, he was a pretty wild-looking character and he probably attracted some attention. When he walked down the street, people took another look.

Only he didn’t walk down the street; he stayed out on the banks of the Jordan River in the wilderness and the people came out to see him. There must have been something very unusual about him. He wasn’t working any miracles, as far as we know.

We know that he predicted a few things and he made one condemnation that lost him his head. He told off the king, bawled him out for marrying his brother’s wife, and that eventually cost him his head. He rebuked the government, in other words; he told off the president.

According to history, the president or the king of that day, Herod, had a great deal of respect for him. He didn’t want to throw him in prison and he didn’t want to cut off his head.19

“What went ye out for to see? A prophet?” What did they go to see? The average preacher, the average priest? No. They went to see a prophet.

What was John noted for? His miracles, his signs, his wonders? Maybe a little bit for his odd looks, his odd dress, his odd appearance, but he was noted most of all for his message, that he was a prophet. He was noted most of all for what he was proclaiming, what he was saying. They came out to see a prophet.

“For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John, and if ye will receive it, this is Elias which was for to come. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.”20 This particular phrase is not used very often in the Gospels, although it’s often used in the book of Revelation.

Jesus is as good as saying in this passage that there’s a meaning here that you may not get unless you listen carefully. The meaning here, I think, is clear, that John the Baptist was that Elijah which was for to come. The prophecy which the angel was making about John the Baptist was what brought all of this on in the first chapter of Luke, the 17th verse, “And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children.”

I wonder how successful John was at that. It was one of the ministries of John the Baptist to try to turn the hearts of the parents to their children, think of that. This guy had a lot of tough jobs, let me tell you!—Looking like a wild man, screaming out in the wilderness like a wild man, behaving like a prophet, and trying to turn the hearts of the parents to their children.

“And the disobedient to the wisdom of the just.” It’s not an easy job “to turn the hearts of the disobedient to the wisdom of the just.” What do you think the wisdom of the just is? The truth. “And to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

This was a tough ministry dear John the Baptist had, and incidentally, he wasn’t a member of the Baptist church! He didn’t even found the Baptist church. God bless the Baptists who love the Lord. Thank God for all Christians; thank God for all true churches of Jesus Christ, whatever their denomination.

“And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years.” Zacharias says, “Come on, Lord, who are You kidding? We can’t have children now!” “And the angel answering said unto him, I am Gabriel that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to show thee these glad tidings.”21 He’s saying, “I’m an angel! Take a look! You don’t even believe me?” “And behold, thou shalt be dumb, and not able to speak, until the day that these things shall be performed, because thou believest not my words, which shall be fulfilled in their season.”22

Do you mean to tell me an angel could appear to you and talk to you and you wouldn’t believe it? Jesus Christ appeared unto many people and talked to them personally and they didn’t believe it! “Neither would they believe though one should come back from the dead.”23

“And the people waited for Zacharias, and marveled that he tarried so long in the temple. And when he came out, he could not speak unto them: and they perceived that he had seen a vision in the temple: for he beckoned unto them, and remained speechless. And it came to pass that as soon as the days of his ministration were accomplished, he departed to his own house.”24 Did he quit working because he couldn’t talk? Did he stop working for the Lord? He kept on working, doing the best he could.

“And after those days his wife Elisabeth conceived and hid herself five months, saying, Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein He looked on me, to take away my reproach among men.”25 It was a shame and a reproach to a woman not to have children in that day. If a woman didn’t have children in that day it was considered a terrible reproach and that God must have cursed her; she must be a terrible sinner of some kind—struck barren.

“Now Elisabeth’s full time came that she should be delivered; and she brought forth a son. And her neighbors and her cousins heard how the Lord had showed great mercy upon her; and they rejoiced with her. And it came to pass, that on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child; and they called his name Zacharias after the name of his father. And his mother answered and said, Not so; but he shall be called John. And they said unto her, There is none of thy kindred that is called by this name. And they made signs to his father, how he would have him called. And he asked for a writing table, and wrote, saying, His name is John.”26

The angel of the Lord told him to call him John. “And all they that heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, What manner of child shall this be! And the hand of the Lord was with him. And his father Zacharias was filled with the Holy Ghost, and prophesied.”27 It sounds like Old Testament poetry, just beautiful.

“Saying, Blessed be the Lord God of Israel; for He hath visited and redeemed His people, and hath raised up an horn of salvation for us in the house of His servant David; as He spake by the mouth of His holy prophets, which have been since the world began.

“That we should be saved from our enemies, and from the hand of all them that hate us. To perform the mercy promised to our fathers, and to remember His holy covenant; the oath which He sware to our father Abraham, that He would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve Him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before Him, all the days of our life.

“And thou, child, shalt be called the prophet of the Highest: for thou shalt go before the face of the Lord to prepare His ways: to give knowledge of salvation unto His people by the remission of their sins, through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the day spring from on high hath visited us, to give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace. And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his showing unto Israel.”28

Originally published December 1968. Adapted and republished December 2013.

Read by Simon Peterson.

1 Luke 1:5–9. All scriptures in this post are from the King James Version.

2 Luke 1:10–11.

3 1 Corinthians 13:10.

4 Colossians 2:16–17.

5 1 Samuel 4:21.

6 1 Corinthians 6:19.

7 Luke 1:11.

8 Luke 1:12–13.

9 Luke 1:14–15.

10 Matthew 11:11.

11 Luke 1:15.

12 Matthew 19:26; Mark 10:27.

13 Luke 1:16–17.

14 Luke 1:17.

15 Matthew 11:14.

16 Malachi 4:5.

17 Matthew 11:7.

18 Matthew 11:8.

19 Matthew 14:9.

20 Matthew 11:13–15.

21 Luke 1:18–19.

22 Luke 1:20.

23 Luke 16:31.

24 Luke 1:21–23.

25 Luke 1:24–25.

26 Luke 1:57–63.

27 Luke 1:66–67.

28 Luke 1:68–80.

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Putin Says Russia's Power Is Moral as Well as Military

Reuters, December 12, 2013

MOSCOW—President Vladimir Putin warned the West on Thursday not to underestimate Russia’s military might but cast his country as a force for moral good and a bastion of traditional values.

In his annual state-of-the-nation speech, Putin portrayed Russia as a country of growing importance and as a moral counterweight to the United States, despite the loss of its Cold War status as a superpower.

He used the occasion to reinforce his image as a champion of conservative values, intended to appeal to his traditional supporters in working-class areas outside big cities following protests against his rule led by young urban professionals.

"Nobody should have any illusion about the possibility of gaining military superiority over Russia," Putin told hundreds of members of parliament, businessmen and government and church leaders in a vast and ornate Kremlin hall.

"We will never allow this to happen. Russia will respond to all these challenges, political and military."

Putin’s assertive tone reflected Russia’s stronger international profile since helping to bring about a deal to dismantle Syria’s chemical weapons, averting the threat of U.S. military strikes against Damascus.

Russia is also competing with the European Union for influence over former Soviet republics, especially Ukraine, where pro-European demonstrators are staging mass protests against a government that is leaning closer to Moscow.

"We do not aspire to be called some kind of superpower, understanding that as a claim to world or regional hegemony," he said. "We do not infringe on anyone’s interests, we do not force our patronage on anyone, or try to teach anyone how to live."

Russia’s image and its human rights record are under international scrutiny as it prepares to host the Winter Olympics in Sochi in less than two months’ time, an event on which Putin has staked much of his own prestige.

He faces criticism in the West over a law banning ‘gay propaganda’ which critics say encourages discrimination against homosexuals.

But with the head of the Russian Orthodox Church sitting in the front row of the Kremlin’s St George Hall, he shrugged that off, saying his views would increase respect for Russia.

"We know there are ever more people in the world who support our position in defense of the traditional values that for centuries have formed the moral foundation of civilization," he said, putting "traditional family values" top of the list.

He called for unity among ethnic groups, greater patriotism and attempts to increase the population. Families with three children, a rarity in Russia, should be the norm, he said.

Putin, 61, has frequently appealed to such values since he returned to the presidency for a third term in May 2012. He has portrayed the Church as a moral guide for a nation unmoored by the 1991 collapse of the Soviet Union.

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Christmas Shalom

by Peter Amsterdam

One of the portions of the story of the Nativity which I find most beautiful, exciting, and meaningful is when the angel appeared to the shepherds and announced Jesus’ birth, followed by a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God. It’s such a fitting entrance for the birth of the Son of God. Luke tells us what happened:

In the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”[1]

The angel announced the birth of the Savior, but that wasn’t the end. Luke goes on to tell us:

Suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”[2]

Some Bible translations render the last part of this verse as “and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”[3] Both of these translations are legitimate, but most contemporary Bible scholars prefer “peace among those with whom he is pleased.”

In either translation, the praise that the multitude of the heavenly hosts gives to God connects the coming of the Savior with peace. This connection between the Savior and peace is seen in the Old Testament prophecies as well.

To us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.[4]

He was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace.[5]

In both the Old and New Testaments, the Messiah—the Savior—has a connection to peace. Yet as we look at the world today, or at almost any time in history, peace is often the last thing we see. Wars and civil strife are endemic to humanity. Sadly, lasting peace throughout the earth hasn’t happened and it certainly doesn’t exist today. So why is Jesus called the Prince of Peace? Why did the angels, when praising God at Jesus’ birth, speak of peace?

The key to making the proper connection between the birth of Jesus and peace rests in understanding the meaning of the original words used for peace in both the Old and New Testaments. Let’s take a quick look.

The word used most often for peace in the Old Testament is shalom. While the word shalom is sometimes used in Scripture to define peace as the absence of war, it has other meanings as well. The root meaning of shalom refers to being whole or sound. It speaks of completeness, soundness, safety, health and prosperity, contentment, tranquility, harmony, peace of mind, the absence of anxiety and stress. It also refers to friendship between individuals, as well as peace and friendship between individuals and God.

The Greek word most often used in the New Testament for peace is eirēnē,[6] which is sometimes used to mean a state of national tranquility and the exemption from the havoc of war. However, it is used more often to express security, safety, prosperity, harmony, and good will between individuals. It also refers to the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ.

While the world will one day know peace in the sense of an absence of war after Jesus’ second coming, the peace so often spoken of in God’s Word refers to the overall wholeness of individuals, both physically and spiritually. Scripture repeatedly states that such wholeness, tranquility, and shalom comes through having a right relationship with God, a relationship which is made possible through the Savior, whom the angels announced to the shepherds that night over two millennia ago.

Humanity has ever been in need of reconciliation with God. Because of our sin, we are separated from Him and unable to bridge the gap. The apostle Paul likened it to our being enemies of God. Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection brought reconciliation between God and man. Through faith in Jesus, the Prince of Peace, we are able to be at peace with God.

Since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.[7]

God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.[8]

In him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.[9]

Through the Prince of Peace, harmony and relationship can be restored between God and all those who embrace Jesus as their Savior. Salvation results in righteousness before God as our sins are forgiven, and the righteousness of salvation brings us peace and joy.

We can then possess the fullness of shalom: completeness, soundness, safety, contentment, tranquility, harmony, and peace of mind, which is the source of inner peace in the midst of the storms and challenges of life that we all face throughout our lives. It is this righteousness, through our salvation gained by Jesus’ sacrifice, that brings peace with God, which in turn is the foundation for true peace within ourselves.

As by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.[10]

The effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.[11]

Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.[12]

The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.[13]

Jesus, the Lord of peace, brings us peace that exceeds anything we can understand. He has given His peace to us, and as we keep our mind on Him, as we trust in Him, He gives us perfect peace, or as it says in the original Hebrew, shalom shalom. Repeating a word was the Hebrew way of expressing a higher degree; in this case, not just peace but perfectpeace.

May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way.[14]

The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.[15]

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.[16]

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.[17]

We find peace in the Savior, peace when we love God’s Word, peace when our ways please the Lord, peace through the presence of the Holy Spirit, peace in faith, and peace when Christ rules in our hearts.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.[18]

Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.[19]

When a man's ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.[20]

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace.[21]

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.[22]

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.[23]

The multitude of angels praising God on the night of Jesus’ birth was heralding the peace that God was making available through the birth of the Savior.—The peace with God that comes through salvation, the inner peace that comes from our connection with God, the peace we have from knowing that God loves us and has made a way for us to be with Him forever.

This is the same peace He has commissioned us to take to others through sharing the message of God’s love, the message of salvation. It’s the peace we bring when we share the message of reconciliation with God, the message of salvation, the message of eternal peace.

We are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.[24]

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.” [25]

May we all do what we can to bring God’s peace into the lives of those who don’t know true peace, the peace only God can give. May we all share the message of the greatest gift of all, the Prince of Peace, with many this Christmas season.

When the song of the angels is stilled,
when the star in the sky is gone,
when the kings and princes are home,
when the shepherds are back with the flocks,
then the work of Christmas begins:
to find the lost,
to heal those broken in spirit,
to feed the hungry,
to release the oppressed,
to rebuild the nations,
to bring peace among all peoples,
to make a little music with the heart…
And to radiate the Light of Christ,
every day, in every way, in all that we do and in all that we say.
Then the work of Christmas begins.

—Howard Thurman

May the God of peace be with you all.[26]

[1] Luke 2:8–11.


[2] Luke 2:13–14.


[3] Luke 2:14 NKJV.


[4] Isaiah 9:6.


[5] Isaiah 53:5.


[6] The pronunciation of this word is eye ray nay.


[7] Romans 5:1.


[8] Romans 5:8, 10.


[9] Colossians 1:19–20.


[10] Romans 5:19.


[11] Isaiah 32:17.


[12] Psalm 85:10.


[13] Romans 14:17.


[14] 2 Thessalonians 3:16.


[15] Philippians 4:7.


[16] John 14:27.


[17] Isaiah 26:3.


[18] John 16:33.


[19] Psalm 119:165.


[20] Proverbs 16:7.


[21] Galatians 5:22.


[22] Romans 15:13.


[23] Colossians 3:15.


[24] 2 Corinthians 5:20.


[25] Isaiah 52:7.


[26] Romans 15:33.

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The Design and Fall of Civilizations

By Douglas Preston, Foreign Policy, December 9, 2013

Archaeologists discovered the Maya city of Caracol, hidden in the jungles of Belize, in the 1930s. In the 1980s, the husband-and-wife team of Arlen and Diane Chase began the daunting project of mapping Caracol and its environs. With teams of assistants and students, they tramped through the rain forest, recording and measuring every archaeological feature they could find. By 2009, after 25 years of labor, they had some of the most detailed maps ever made of a Maya city.

Then they tried a new mapping tool: “light detection and ranging” technology, or lidar. Although lidar had been used for years to survey large-scale features for projects such as urban planning and planetary exploration, only recently had it gained the resolution necessary for archaeological mapping. The Chases joined forces with NASA and the National Center for Airborne Laser Mapping at the University of Houston, which supplied a plane retrofitted to carry a million-dollar lidar machine that flew five missions over Caracol and its environs, mapping the ground with lasers.

When the images came back, the Chases were stunned. The lidar maps showed that in the quarter-century they had spent roaming the rain-forest floor, they had found only about 10 percent of what was actually there. The new maps revealed tens of thousands of previously unknown features, large and small-structures, houses, roads, reservoirs, terracing, sinkholes, caves (some with burials and artifacts), and even open and looted tombs. In a little more than nine hours, the lidar mission had revealed that Caracol was a far larger area than previously imagined, an urban landscape covering 200 square kilometers.

The Chases declared lidar the greatest archaeological advance since carbon-14 dating, which won its discoverer a Nobel Prize and transformed the science of archaeology. It’s true that archaeology is on the verge of another revolution because of lidar. The technology will soon strip away the world’s jungles to reveal their lost civilizations and hidden treasures, a prospect recently demonstrated in dramatic fashion by Bill Benenson and Steve Elkins.

A few years ago, the two filmmakers had the crazy idea of mapping a large swath of unknown rain forest in the rugged interior mountains of Mosquitia, a region in Honduras. These mountains have the distinction of being among the last archaeologically unexplored regions on Earth, cut off by dense jungles, malarial swamps, roaring torrents, steep ravines, deadly snakes, and the even more formidable Honduran bureaucracy.

Benenson and Elkins were looking for a legendary lost city, known as La Ciudad Blanca (the White City), long rumored to be hidden in the area. They persuaded the National Center for Airborne Laser Mapping to undertake the speculative project, the first to use lidar for pure exploration. (Previously, it had only been used to survey known sites.) And in May 2012, they spent a number of days flying over the Mosquitia mountains, logging a little more than eight hours of actual mapping time.

I accompanied Benenson, Elkins, and their team to Honduras as a journalist, even though I believed their chances of finding something were small. Nothing much happened in the first few days, as the plane gathered raw data. But on the morning of the fourth day, the chief mapping engineer had crunched enough data to create maps of an isolated valley in the targeted area. Previously a skeptic, he burst out of his bungalow, running like a madman, waving his arms and yelling, “There’s something in the valley!”

When we crowded into his room, we could see that the maps were covered with blurry, unnatural features that even to our inexpert eyes looked like ruins. Later analysis by archaeologists specializing in Mesoamerica revealed two, possibly three, unknown cities in those images, encompassing pyramids, plazas, roads, canals, terracing, rectangular mounds, and walls. This wasn’t just a solitary city; it was a society. The prehistoric inhabitants of the Mosquitia rain forest—they do not have a name yet—had cleared the vegetation to create open areas, monumental architecture, roads, canals, dense housing settlements, and intensive agriculture. In a few hours, lidar had mapped an area that would have taken perhaps a century or more to survey using traditional methods, and in far greater detail.

Lidar doesn’t just do faster and better what traditional archaeology can. By mapping hundreds of square kilometers in one fell swoop—impossible in a ground survey—it reveals how ancient civilizations organized themselves on the largest scales, how the hinterlands were connected to the cities, how the cities were connected to each other, and how people farmed, traded, and engaged in religious activity. All without turning over a spade of earth.

The use of lidar as an archaeological tool comes at a crucial time for the field. Over the past two decades, archaeologists have realized that most of their ideas about prehistoric settlement in the rain forests of the Americas were wrong. These jungles are not virgin: Prior to European contact, they were heavily cleared and the terrain extensively altered. Nor were these areas populated with scattered hunter-gatherer tribes, as we see today, but with advanced, sophisticated farming civilizations. The old idea that rain-forest soils are nutrient-poor and unable to support large-scale farming is now known to be false.

Given that, outside of Caracol and Mosquitia, the rain forests of Central and South America are untouched by lidar, I would expect surprising, if not mind-blowing, discoveries as other archaeologists begin their own swoops over the jungle canopy.

And this won’t just happen in the Americas. The very first archaeological use of lidar in the Asian tropics led to the discovery of an ancient Khmer city hidden in the Cambodian jungle and revealed canals, roads, dikes, a score of unknown temples, a cave full of ancient carvings, and hundreds of mysterious mounds that may be ancient tombs. Not long ago, I met a young anthropologist at the School for Advanced Research in Santa Fe, New Mexico, who mentioned that she had started using lidar to map Penobscot Indian sites in Maine. I asked her what she thought of it as a tool. “Oh my God,” she said, “lidar is crack.”

Why does this all matter to the rest of us? Understanding how ancient civilizations organized themselves and why they collapsed is crucial to understanding many of the challenges we face today. The inhabitants of Mosquitia experienced a decline around the 13th century, a few hundred years after their more famous neighbor—the Maya—utterly collapsed, never to rise again. Long a mystery, the Maya collapse now appears to have been caused by environmental degradation and the growth of a wealthy class that hogged an ever-larger share of a dwindling pool of resources. Does this sound familiar? The story of archaeology is thick with cautionary tales that speak directly to the 21st century: from the demise of the Roman Empire (corruption, tax evasion, and military overspending) to the 12th-century fall of the Anasazi in the U.S. Southwest (clear-cutting, overfarming, and overreaching by the priestly class).

Civilizations change; problems endure. Our foreign-policy establishment would do well to heed the sometimes chilling lessons of the ancients.

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Exercise as Potent Medicine

By Gretchen Reynolds, NY Times, December 11, 2013

Exercise can be as effective as many frequently prescribed drugs in treating some of the leading causes of death, according to a new report. The study raises important questions about whether our health care system focuses too much on medications and too little on activity to combat physical ailments.

For the study, which was published in October in BMJ, researchers compared how well various drugs and exercise succeed in reducing deaths among people who have been diagnosed with several common and serious conditions, including heart disease and diabetes.

Comparative effectiveness studies are a staple of science, of course, especially in pharmaceutical research. Scientists often track how well one drug treats a condition compared with the outcome if they use a different drug. But few studies have directly compared drugs with exercise, and even fewer have compared outcomes in terms of mortality or whether the intervention significantly lessens the chance that someone with a disease will die from it, despite treatment.

So Huseyin Naci, a graduate student at the London School of Economics and Political Science, and Dr. John Ioannidis, the director of the Stanford Prevention Research Center at the Stanford University School of Medicine, decided to create a comprehensive comparison of the effectiveness of drugs and exercise in lessening mortality among people who had been diagnosed with one of four diseases: heart disease, chronic heart failure, stroke or diabetes. They chose these particular conditions because those were the only ones for which they could find studies that had examined whether exercise lessened the risk of death among patients with that disease, Mr. Naci said.

He and Dr. Ioannidis then gathered all of the recent randomized controlled trials, as well as previous reviews and meta-analyses of older experiments relating to mortality among patients with those diseases, whether they had been treated with drugs or exercise.

They ended up with data covering 305 past experiments that, collectively, involved almost 340,000 participants, which is an impressive total. But most of the volunteers had received drugs. Only 57 of the experiments, involving 14,716 volunteers, had examined the impact of exercise as a treatment.

Still, the numbers were large enough that Mr. Naci and Dr. Ioannidis could create an elaborate network of cross-references, comparing the outcomes when people received certain drugs, followed exercise regimens or, occasionally, both. The exercise routines, typically part of rehabilitation programs, usually involved walking or other aerobic routines but sometimes consisted of weight training or other exercises.

The researchers compared mortality risks for people following any of the treatment options.

The results consistently showed that drugs and exercise produced almost exactly the same results. People with heart disease, for instance, who exercised but did not use commonly prescribed medications, including statins, angiotensin-converting-enzyme inhibitors or antiplatelet drugs, had the same risk of dying from—or surviving—heart disease as patients taking those drugs. Similarly, people with diabetes who exercised had the same relative risk of dying from the condition as those taking the most commonly prescribed drugs. Or as the researchers wrote in statistics-speak, “When compared head to head in network meta-analyses, all interventions were not different beyond chance.”

On the other hand, people who once had suffered a stroke had significantly less risk of dying from that condition if they exercised than if they used medications—although the study authors note that stroke patients who can exercise may have been unusually healthy to start with.

Only in chronic heart failure were drugs noticeably more effective than exercise. Diuretics staved off mortality better than did exercise.

Over all, Dr. Ioannidis said, “our results suggest that exercise can be quite potent” in treating heart disease and the other conditions, equaling the lifesaving benefits available from most of the commonly prescribed drugs, including statins.

The results also underscore how infrequently exercise is considered or studied as a medical intervention, Dr. Ioannidis said. “Only 5 percent” of the available and relevant experiments in his new analysis involved exercise. “We need far more information” about how exercise compares, head to head, with drugs in the treatment of many conditions, he said, as well as what types and amounts of exercise confer the most benefit and whether there are side effects, such as injuries. Ideally, he said, pharmaceutical companies would set aside a tiny fraction of their profits for such studies.

But he is not optimistic that such funding will materialize, without widespread public pressure.

For now, Mr. Naci said, he hopes that this new study will prompt smaller-scale negotiations. “We are not suggesting that anyone stop taking their medications,” he said. “But maybe people could think long and hard about their lifestyles and talk to their doctors” about whether exercise could and should be incorporated into their care.

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Life Lessons to Teach Kids Before They Leave Home

Joel Peterson, LinkedIn, December 10, 2013

As a parent, I’ve felt the temptation many times to sit my kids down and drill them on life’s important lessons—especially the ones I had to learn the hard way. But we all know kids insist on making their own mistakes. My admonitions wouldn’t have worked on them any better than my parents’ lectures worked on me.

If you’ve come to the same conclusion, though, don’t despair: there’s still a way to get through to them. Your kids are always taking mental notes, even when you’re not looking. Like it or not, your actions are at the core of what your kids will take with them into their adult lives. Seen through their young eyes, what you say and do in your own life will be the example they retain in spite of themselves.

Had I been able to put into words the living lecture I’d have wanted to give my own kids for a head start in life, it would have gone something like this:

Don’t be afraid to fail: If you never fail at anything, you may be aiming too low, playing it safe, and doing what Stephen Covey used to call “playing par 9 golf.” So, keep challenging yourself, even—and especially—after defeats. Emerson wrote, “When it’s darkest, men see the stars.” Failure and adversity are among the best ways to grow and to learn.

Find the good in yourself. We all deserve to feel good about ourselves, without the need to derive our sense of self-worth from the people around us. The opinions of those around you—though worth considering—are slender reeds on which to base your self-image. Instead, pick what matters most to you and stick with it.

And see the good in others, too. The harvest from showing genuine interest and respect to others is almost invariably an increase in your own self-esteem. The world is full of other people, so don’t go through life dismissing them, seeking distance from them, or being shy or afraid. Showing respect—and even reverence—for other humans is virtually always a “win-win” proposition.

There’s no substitute for hard work. Honest work may be the surest path to self-respect. Hard work is a privilege—it allows you to discover the depth of your own abilities, and to see the potential in others. Go the extra mile, and see how good you can be at something. The harder you work, the less crowded a road you’ll find—fewer people than you think embrace work as a central path to self-worth.

Building great habits is critical. The more of them you have, the more capacity you’ll have to handle the many competing claims life throws at you. Good habits can take you to unanticipated heights—and in ways that’ll almost feel effortless. The “muscle memory” from having developed good habits in your youth (yes, including basics like eating right, good sleep, hygiene, regular study and exercise) will sustain you when others flag. Abraham Lincoln said, “by the age of 40, every man has the face he deserves.” So it is that your habits will lead you to a destiny you earn.

Don’t expect fairness—at least in the short run. To deal with life’s unfairness, focus on the future, not on the past. Whatever happens, don’t wallow. Concentrate on others, not on yourself. Legendary Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi reminded players that, “it’s not how many times you’re knocked down, but how many times you get up again, that’ll determine your destiny.” The message: just keep getting up.

Be kind—it has more power than you think. In Aesop’s fable about strength, the Sun’s warm rays win out over the gale force of the North Wind. This gentle approach to influencing others may not be obvious in your early years. A bit of subtle kindness costs nothing, but can have huge benefits. Remember that it doesn’t take much to help lift someone’s burden, to say a kind word, to notice a success.

Take yourself out of the center. The most miserable people I know live in a self-designed universe that revolves eternally around them. To keep their planets aligned, they desperately amass power, money, or fame—but their supernova usually ends up a black hole. One way to avoid this is by helping those less fortunate than you. As Helen Keller said, “There is no better way to thank God for your sight than by giving a helping hand to someone in the dark.”

Embrace reality. President John Adams said, “Facts are stubborn things.” You can’t change reality, so you need to face it head on. It might sound crazy, but you should seek out bad news—the earlier you find it, the earlier you can do something about it before it gets worse. Look for problems and become the solution. Nothing good ever comes of avoiding the hard truths.

"Solve" for the long term. It’s crucial to be deliberate about your life. One way to approach this is to ask yourself: What am I solving for? Pleasure is short-lived. Even happiness is dependent on circumstances, and temporary. But joy—or deeper satisfaction—is rooted in meaning. Joy lives beyond the moment and despite present circumstances; and it can be conjured when needed. Peace is the ultimate resolution of a life well lived. It derives from finding a oneness with a purpose outside of yourself. In your own life make peace the quest that trumps the constant allure of pleasure.

Consider keeping your own list of what you want to impart to your kids before they leave home. Even if you never show it to them directly, it’ll serve as a map in case you need to make a few of your own course corrections.

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